Helping 15 year daughter buy first house. Wife’s not a fan

[Jason Graves]

Today we entered into a contract to buy a 3 bed 2 bath House in Kansas City Mo for $145k.

The house will rent for $1500 to $1700 per month.

I'm teaching my daughter how to create a monthly budget and will set up a separate checking account via a LLC to handle the cash flow. She will be responsible for maintenance and paying all the bills.

She will need to learn how to make a punch list of things to fix and find contractors out of state. We close in 30 days so it’s going to be a crash course.

My question is how do you handle a wife that does not like real estate? The wife thinks she’s to young and does not need the stress.

Btw I have purchased over 95 multi-family units in the last 30 months along with a 80 pad mobile home park last week....

[Kent Kiess]

Awesome Jason!! I just gave my 14 year old son a copy of "Rich Dad Poor Dad" he is totally into it. I say with the wife, wait it out and when your daughter show what she has made in 1 year it might just change her mind. Plus the growth and learning that she is going to get from this will make her very successful in life. How could a mom disagree with that. 

In addition, I would enjoy to hear about your success with 95 units in 30 months. Now that is impressive!! 

Good luck and stay safe and healthy out there.

Kent Kiess

[Michael King]

@Jason Graves That's an awesome dad that girl has there! What went wrong with your wife? Does she not see and appreciate all you're doing in real estate and trust your judgement? I would say if she doesn't come round, then this will be one of those things where you never see eye to eye. But don't stop what you are doing!

I have to start planning something similar for my 2 daughters. They're already introduced to the notion of investment property. 

[Theresa Harris]

I think it is important to teach kids how to budget and handle money (and life).  I'm assuming the property is in your name and your daughter is helping you.

[Kenneth Garrett]

@Jason Graves

That’s a great idea.  It won’t take much of her time and it is something you two can work on together.  It hopefully will bond you two together.  Of course she will need to be responsible enough and it shouldn’t be a chore.  I’m assuming she gets to keep the cash flow as her incentive.  Hopefully she is mature enough and your wife will see she is learning something. 15 is young.  I like the idea.  It might help pay for college as well.

Good Luck.

[Scott Passman]

@Jason Graves  This is awesome and such a great learning experience for your daughter.  This is the type of thing we need to do more of with our children.  Rather than giving them money or letting them live at home for free to help them out, I think creating opportunities for them to learn real world skills, develop their problem solving and people skills, and understand the power real estate/business to build wealth is far more valuable.  

Does your wife work or have friends who work 9-5 jobs?  Assuming she does, I'm willing to bet they'd love to share how "stress-free" life is working 40-60 hours per week for an employer that could cut ties with you any time they want.  Good for you for exposing your kids to other ways to generate income. 

[Max T.]

@Jason Graves

Easy.... new wife

[Jeff Smith]

I think that is an awesome education for your daughter and plan on doing the same for all of my children when they get a bit older. My oldest is 7 now. If your daughter shows a lot of interest, I'm sure your wife will come around. 

[Alex Olson]

Originally posted by @Jason Graves:

Today we entered into a contract to buy a 3 bed 2 bath House in Kansas City Mo for $145k.

The house will rent for $1500 to $1700 per month.

I'm teaching my daughter how to create a monthly budget and will set up a separate checking account via a LLC to handle the cash flow. She will be responsible for maintenance and paying all the bills.

She will need to learn how to make a punch list of things to fix and find contractors out of state. We close in 30 days so it’s going to be a crash course.

My question is how do you handle a wife that does not like real estate? The wife thinks she’s to young and does not need the stress.

Btw I have purchased over 95 multi-family units in the last 30 months along with a 80 pad mobile home park last week....

That's awesome man. I will be doing this with one of my kids some day soon! Keep up the good work and yes Kansas is a great place to invest.

[Justin V.]

@Jason Graves

I think this is a really cool thing to do and a great education. You

Are sound like a veteran, so I’m sure your daughter will in no way be in a position to fail.

How does your wife not like real estate? I’m guessing it’s impact on your family’s lives to be hugely beneficial. My wife was initially anti real estate. Over the last 5 years and some successful investments, she now sees the benefits and is pro although it’s not her passion still.

What would your wife rather see her doing? Real

Estate investing is pretty low stress low effort once renovations are wrapped and now that we’ve been in it a bit. I know a bunch of people that get nervous about buying a first house or

first rental, so good to rip off that bandage early.

I started framing summers with my father at age 12. He taught me many things. It would have been good to learn the business, but I’m happy to have gotten my degree and w2 instead of taking

It over.

[Matthew Irish-Jones]

@Jason Graves how can your wife not be into it if you have purchased 95 multi family houses?

Sounds like your moving forward regardless if your wife’s feelings.

[Alex Craig]

@Jason Graves Big picture, this sounds like an easy solution. You buy, your daughter is involved in every step and decision along the way as a learning experience, not owner experience. Happy wife, happy life! My marriage counseling rate of $150 a hour is on the house for this one, no pun intended. :)

[Cj Powderhorn]

@Jason Graves is it really worth pissing off your wife? I’ve noticed all of the responses have been from men so far😂.

How engaged is your daughter in school and extracurricular activities? Having an ‘only’, team sports are very important for her development to me. More important that teaching her how to make money (for now).

I’d recommend letting your daughter get as involved as she would like to be-with YOUR investments. I assume they will all be hers one day, anyway. Have her review the books, balance accounts, email contractors or something else?

Maybe your wife is extremely risk adverse due to past experiences or has another valid reason for not wanting to engage in REI...

Sounds like you are very successful professionally and happy personally-don’t see a strong enough reason to ‘rock the boat’.

[Brian G.]

@Jason Graves dude that’s awesome. I would love to be in a position to do that! I’ve definitely talked about RE at different times with each of our kids. What’s the scoop on the purchase? Did she contribute financially? Is it a light rehab? What RE strategy are you implementing with her?

[Ujwal Velagapudi]

I think it's great you're helping your daughter work through the process at such an age! I wish schools would have some practical courses like this to educate kids instead of teaching some junk they'll never use again in life. I can't comment on the wife part as I don't have any experience in that, but I have tried to do this with family/friends and seems to work better depending on their interest level. I agree with Cj that a compromise could be you having the title and managing it all on paper, but letting your daughter get as involved as she wants to. But whatever small or large amount of responsibilities she does decide to take on, she should see them through amidst school, social life, etc. Personally I like the responsibilities you've given her, and you could watch over during tough times, but 1 SFH shouldn't be too much to handle, especially if she is eager to learn.

[Damaso Bautista]

@Jason Graves

I believe this is a great idea to give your daughter this experience.  

I would like to do this for my kids 19 and 20 but buy in is something that I personally need to do this for them.  

If your kid doesn't have buy in (meaning motivation to do this for themselves) then all you are doing is acquiring another property to your portfolio.

A true experience like this needs to be driven from them and not from their parent. I think this might be what your wife's apprehension is about.  It is the classic you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.  

Believe me if my son or daughter came to me and said they wanted me to help them start investing in real estate, I would jump through hoops getting them through the process, financially and teaching them.

But at least for me, I don't see any motivation is this area from my kids,  so I am not going to do it unless they are ready.

If your daughter is pushing you to do this for her then it is a no brainer.  If your daughter could care less about real estate investing then I am kind of on your wife's side on this one.

Just my opinion.

I hope you and your wife figure it out. 

[James York]

@Jason Graves this is awesome. My two 9 year olds and 7 year old are “investing” in my building projects. The 7yo is putting her total savings of $37 in for the promised 100% return on her money. 9 year olds are having a harder time parting with more than $10. My wife also thinks they’re too young. 

[Matt M.]

@Jason Graves

I think it’s a great idea! My biggest gripes with school is they don’t teach any real life stuff. This is a great thing for her to learn. Kudos to you sir.

At 8 years old, my son was using a nail gun for trim, could caulk, and bread and sauté chicken breasts.

[Justin Tahilramani]

My only question is why are you getting her into a property with such a horrible return? In my area you can easily pick up a nice $60-70k property that will rent for $795 - $895.

[Mike Dymski]

Your daughter can either learn life lessons from you and your wife now with your help...or she can spend the rest of her life learning (or not learning) on her own the hard way.  15 is not young at all...she will be out of the house in a couple of years.

And what's the alternative...go work at a yogurt shop?  Vs something meaningful?  Maybe put your collective values down on paper and see if selling yogurt is on the list.  There may be more to this one than meets the eye if your wife does not like real estate and your family has 175 doors.

Congrats on the real estate success and your parenting skills...excellent stuff.

[Martin Neal]

@Jason Graves Put a cup on the table and fill it halfway with water. What do you see?? While it can be stressful, it can be rewarding too. We choose what to get stressed by. If you’re not forcing your daughter, then I don’t see the problem. Let her choose her own path and adjust accordingly. With a dad as experienced as you, I’m sure that she won’t get too far in over her head and will make it work. I plan on doing the same with my son. Good luck.

[Connor Mckelvey]

@Jason Graves this is amazing. I can’t wait to have kids of my own to do this with.

As far as seeing eye to eye with your wife, it sounds like it’s not real estate that’s the issue, since you already have a bunch of units.

If it’s the “stress” on your daughter that worries her, perhaps it’s just a matter of perspective. When I was that age a lot of my friends were working at the grocery store or at the local movie theater, while those are not difficult jobs, they are stressful. Dealing with annoying customers, cleaning toilets, standing on your feet all day. And having a boss that probably doesn’t know what they are doing.

In this situation, sure your daughter has a lot to learn, but you can act as her boss and guide her through things she is unsure of. Sounds way better than bagging groceries.

[Peice Livingston]

@Jason Gravesi wish my parents would've done this for me and my siblings when we were younger! I'm about to do this my children and grandchildren great job brother 👏

[Cody Boatright]

@Jason Graves anytime a parent shows a child a skill on any level is giving them one more tool to feed themselves in the future. Kiddos to you and your wife.

I would like to see you share this thread with your wife directly. Let her have a response in this. I’m curious what her thoughts would be on it.

I suspect there may be something deeper in there that can’t be talked about. More than just stressing your daughter out.

Take a moment and do a health check of the marriage. If none of this produces anything deeper just reassure your wife you’ll have a safety system to catch your daughter if it ends up overwhelming her. I suspect it won’t. If your kid is in this willingly than the skies the limit with your experience and current portfolio and her drive. Having your first rental property at 15 is bragging rights with her crew.

I wish you great success.

[Lynnette E.]

Hmmmm your daughter is a minor and can not do some of the things that are required to successfully buy and manage a rental, like enter into a contract.  

I'll tell you 2 stories:  

I had a timeshare near where I lived in CA.  I bought it when my kids were about 5 years old.  I bought it because any owner could have daily use of the indoor pool, play areas, hiking trails, etc. It is the cheapest indoor, year round use pool in the area.  The maintenance fees are cheap compared to pool membership, which are not even year round.  I put both of my kid's names on the deed as minors so that they could go there with their nanny when I was at work.  All was well, but the fact that minors had ownership in the property did take a very  different pathway when the property was sold.  I had to show it was in the children's best interest to sell their asset, and that they were getting their share of the money.  So, even though it was a timeshare and sold for less than $500, I did have to put 'their' money into an account in their name, and had to sign with their passports as id, as well as me for their ownership.    So think about the exit.  If she is an owner, and a minor at the time it is sold, know the minor exit requirements for that state. 

Other story:

I have 2 children, a boy and a girl, both 16 years old now.  They help a lot with my rental business.  I buy dilapidated houses, fix them, then rent them. Some of the fixing we do, some we hire.  They are involved in looking at the houses (generally only the outside)  and we talk about how high we will go in buying the house.  They help with determining the work to be done and fixing the houses.  They track the expenses for the houses, and when rented they track the income.  They get $10 an hour for fixing the houses.  They do get ten percent of the income for this work, like a property manager.  They know the contractors we work with and listen into the discussions.  However, I would not have a minor, who can not enter into a contract, negotiate with a contractor or even subject an contactor to a child telling them the required work.  That is not fair to the contractor or to the child.  But they are there and do listen in.

My kids do not own these houses, but they are in a Trust and will eventually be the beneficiary.  And they will eventually be the Trustee and have to manage these houses, or sell them.  So I am working with them to develop these skills.  

I also know that these children are teens.  When they have other interests, they get to be a kid first.  They have their whole lives to work.  This is part of their homeschool experience and to learn.  My son has a girl friend.  His time is pretty much directed in that direction right now.  Both kids are very involved in scouts.  That takes a priority too.  Learning about the real estate business is important, but it should not take away their teen years.  

[Duncan Hayes]

@Jason Graves can you be my dad? Or is it too late?