@Rochelle Wilkinson
I must STRONGLY echo the sentiment of several other people here: GET A LAWYER to help you with this!!
1) You need to find out if you REALLY own this building. It sounds like you probably do, but please, please do not spend more time/money on this until you know for sure. It shouldn't take a decent real estate lawyer long to go through the probate docs to figure it out.
2) Have the lawyer review your loan documents and find out EXACTLY what you are legally obligated to fix "right now" vs stuff they'd "like" to have fixed.
3) Have the lawyer compare the bank list of repairs to what your STATE requires that you fix. You may find they're on the same page, or you may find the bank is trying to pull a fast one on someone they surely know has no experience or knowledge in the area.
*the few thousand you may potentially have to pay this RE lawyer will pale in comparison to the tens of thousands you will likely save in future trouble, time, and repair costs!!!! DO IT!
4) Join and REI / keep making contacts here on BP....you could really use some help with the scale of your repairs. You're burning $$$$$$ because you have a lay-handyman doing repairs that likely should be completed by a decent general contractor who may cost more per hour for labor, but is bonded/insured, and can likely get a considerable discount on materials, as well as finish the repairs in a timely manner. You don't have to fire your handyman, if he's a good worker....but it sounds like he'll be more of an asset AFTER the major repairs have been completed.
For what it's worth, this is a REALLY inspiring story! You are KICKING ***, and I hope you get through this a make millions for your retirement! :)