QOTW: What is the funniest thing to happen to you in RE Investing

[Alicia Marks]

With the stress of the holidays looming, I thought it could be fun to share the lighter side of real estate. What are some of the funniest experiences you've had as an investor? How did you handle it? What would you do differently? Did it change how you did business going forward? 

[John Morgan]

Having to stand in front of bullet holes in the front door of my SFR while talking to prospective tenants during a couple showings. Both families wanted to talk to me forever on the front porch after they viewed it and told me they would take it. My contractor didn't bondo up the holes by then. The house got hit by 3 drive by shootings from my last tenants. So I had to stand in front of the bullet holes. The bullet holes didn't look family friendly to these people. Lol. And I didn't want to have to explain to them at that moment. I later told them some shady people were squatting there during the eviction moratorium. I knew the neighbors would probably tell them everything. Lol

[Michael Magno]

Walking a tenant occupied property. I knocked on the door, yelled out, no one responded.  Proceeded to tour the unit.  Went around the corner, opened a bedroom door to dude passed out butt naked on the bed.  My clients and I scurried out.  Mind you, it was 3pm in the afternoon.

Some things you can never unsee.

[Matthew Johnson]

I once went to a nice rental house of mine to check on a busted pipe in the winter time. I walked into the house, looked over and there were 9 Pit Bull Puppies on the couch and a rabbit sitting on the floor. Needless to say that house was a gut job when the tenant moved a few months later. 

[Mike Nelson]

I looked at an off-market home being sold, owned by a Columbian drug lord and his wife.  It had so many nice religous paintings on the wall it looked like the Vatican.

[Julie Toh]

@Lara White I applaud your tactfully worded note to the listing agent, ahem, seller. How could a listing agent not know better? Scratching my head. 

[David Adams]

@Alicia Marks

Not funny but true. A couple years ago I had to evict a tenant . They showed up for court and said they would have everything out of the house by noon the next day . That afternoon I did a walk thru with my crew and discussed the few repairs and cleaning that we needed to do . One of my guys opens a closet door and there’s a small rectangular box . It’s a plastic box inside a cardboard box . Super heavy . We open the box and it’s the ashes of the renters mother . First thing I do is call my tenant that I evicted and asked her to please come pick this up . When she got there she apologized and said her aunts ashes were in another closet that she forgot to pick up

[Kristin Bassett]

I think it's funny how often I find giant bags of weed in vacant houses, and that I have no idea what to do with it. Usually I just compost it, but that feels wrong.

[Alex Gurvitz]

Similar story... One of my tenants offered to pay rent with weed. Lol. Of course, I refused. 

[Jacob Beg]

On a dark stormy night, I went to view a property on my own. While in the basement, I hear the loudest bang and the lights go out. This house had a real spooky feel to it and I had no torch light with me. As it happens,  I had seen "Exorcist" the night before so it was fresh in my mind. I literally ran for my life and could not find the stair case as I lost my mind. Somehow I ran up in the dark while making up scenarios in my head about being chased by some spirit.

Finally, when I managed to get out of this spooky house to even a spookier front yard it dawned on me that during my fight for life to get out, I dropped my car keys somewhere in the basement. Of course, there was no way I was going in. Had to call a friend of mine under the guise that there is a real good deal to be had and we must view it "NOW". Of course, all I wanted was to someone to accompany me down there so  I can sneakily pick up my keys. 

Years later, I will tell my friend about the real reason for my call and it turns out that he suspected this all along. 

[Ryan Patterson]

I can name numerous situations over all the years. I'll share one that sticks out currently. My brother and I work together in multifamily around the North Jersey area. An elderly woman had a leak from above in her bathroom from a leaking shower drain. She left to go to work while her husband was still present watching TV. The repair was completed to the plumbing, so my brother began to patch and spackle the bathroom ceiling. He stepped off the tub to let the spackle dry and return. He stepped in what "felt" like spackle he dropped on the ground by accident... Nope... He stepped in a pile of you know what. Needless to say, he threw out his shoes and called me and said "I quit". We still work together and laugh about it (well most of the family does). 

[Julie Williams]

About 25 years ago I was looking for a studio for my art related business that had outgrown my house. A local developer who had his fingers in many pies and was known to be fair and to do good work, said he had a garage behind an apartment building for rent. It had been converted to a metal shop and the shop had closed. He said it was almost ready and that he would either rent me the whole thing, or build a hall around the center bathroom and rent half to me. It was close to my home and two blocks to downtown, so I said great, half the building would be perfect. Standing outside the building the landlord said, "I have to warn you, there are some risqué pictures on the walls on your side." I said, "No problem! Honestly, pin up calendar don't offend me anymore." I walked in, my jaw dropped, and I did a slow 360. All of the walls of the 600 square foot room were covered, in most places ceiling to floor, with women cut out of hard core porn magazines. It was horrifying and overly enlightening. I rented the place and paid a guy to sheetrock over them (hundreds of them), tape and paint. There was one area that they had not "decoupaged" that I only had painted. A teenage guy I hired as a helper ran his hand over a couple of cuts in the wall and asked what they were. I said, we don't really know, but there was porno glued all over the walls and some of these cuts here and there. Later a subcontractor held something up and asked "what's this?" I said, "I don't know, we found a couple of those when we renovated. The metal workers made them". He knew about the porno, and he held one up with an astonished look. "That's a homemade ninja fighting star..." I finished the sentence for him, "which the metal workers threw at the pictures of the naked women." Gave all the women I hired the shudders. I immediately grabbed the phone, called a locksmith and had the locks changed. That day. And I started carrying a boat horn with my finger on the button when I had to walk to the the car at night. I never had any problems. Publicly, it was a high end faux finish and mural studio. Privately, we called the shop "The Porno Palace". 

[Julie Williams]

@kristen bassett 

[Julie Williams]

@Kristin Bassett I will try that again. You don't know anyone in Portland, Oregon, who knows what to do with weed? 

[James Hamling]

This one time, at band camp....... 

Ok, I got one for the record books. 

Early into my experience in section8 housing when i was still full of this thing called optimism, I got a call that I just couldn't conceptualize. A basement tenant said her apartment was flooding, like a literal waterfall pouring in, non stop, nowhere near a bathroom, and it's wine, why is there wine pouring in her apartment and the tenants upstairs are partying, have kegs of wine, and are pouring it out. 

Yeah, you read that right, and she was totally loosing it more and more as I had to stop and say "excuse me, you said ___??". So, ok, I gotta get over there, now. 

As I approached the apartment I could see, she was not joking, it was gallons pouring down, gallons, and it's RED! WTF.... So I turn and jog up to next floor the whole time my mind whirling as to what in God's green earth could this be. Of course it's not "kegs of wine" but seriously, what the heck could it be, what's red? 

I get up to the floor and yup, i hear it, a party is going on. OMG, am i about to discover kegs of wine is actually a thing? 

I make the turn and there is a bunch of people in the hall, wow it's really something. Than as i approach I see something, what are they vacuuming? but I don't hear... that's not a vacuum is that a... WTF it's a GARDEN HOSE!!! It becomes clearer and clearer as I approach, they have a garden hose, full blast, and they are power washing, or what looks to be, the CARPETS! From there apartment into the hall. I yell something, and of course they all stop and look at me as though I'm the crazy one here. And as i ask just what in blue blazes are they doing I get to the door and I see. I kid you not, with the most matter of fact straight face and a raised eyebrow as if to say "well duh" he says, there cleaning up from the goat.... i say "the goat" which is honestly just my mouth moving on auto pilot because my eyes are locked in shock and horror at what I am seeing, they broke me, I am broken. he says "Yeah, the goat, it was a wedding party, we have the goat for the wedding, we killed it, gutted it, now I am cleaning it out". 

Mind you, 2nd level apartment, carpet floors..... garden hose and a broom washing it into the hallway....... 

The rest of that interaction when about as you can imagine it would go. Best part is there was a part 2 of the craziness, when went down to talk to basement unit tenant to explain not to worry we figured it out, it's not wine, no it's just watered down goat blood and entrails pouring through the ceiling...... 

This is how I also learned there is a name for a phobia of living under other persons, lol. 

Going forward, i made sure to let tenants know, please don't do ritual animal sacrifice in your living room, or in the unit in general and when I get a funny look i just say "yup, seen it". 

[David A Lisowski]

We moved into our vacation rental home in April 2020. The property management company charged us for May and June for "lock maintenance," and a few others charges that required someone to be at the property... I worked from home... like literally 5 feet from the front door, and pretty much only left the house to run. So there's no way anyone came to the house, let alone did any work or came inside.

I'm sure there are some others

[Luka Milicevic]

I was walking through a house right before it being torn down. By myself. The place was completely trashed and it was very nasty. 

One of the windows were open and I heard a rustling sound in the kitchen. I thought it was just the wind via the open window.

I walk into the kitchen and a racoon pops out of a bag of chips and we both scared each other to death. Mr. Racoon and I had a long stare down and then went our separate ways. 

[Lara White]

@Julie Toh I've found out later.... she is a BROKER not just an agent!!  And didn't disclose she has an interest in the property... it's a big ole kettle of worms.  She most definitely should have known better.

[Deanna O.]

The house had a bit of a reputation, so when I started to clean it out it was a bit of a small town sideshow.  Water had been turned off for a year. Warned the local septic guy that the bathroom was bad. Real bad. He and his Dad go swaggering in--and come diving out. He went back in again, alone, with his gas mask on. I gave permission to solve the problem however he saw fit, then left to run errands for 45 minutes. Came back to no toilet and clear drains.(I'd given permission to remove the toilet). It was apparently so entertaining he forgot to bill me, and I had to call the office a couple times to get an invoice.  As a side note, septic guys will take on problems when the regular plumbers are going "Year after next? Gee, I think I'm booked then too...."

[Jonah Richard]

Not warning tenants before cutting plumbing main.

This was on my first major renovation. 3-family stacked. We were renovating top to bottom and had leased up the 2nd and 3rd floors by the time we were part way into the 1st floor.

Plumbers were on site roughing in a new bathroom. There was an existing wye in the main plumbing run that we thought we could tap into in the basement without having to cut into the main. Mid way through rough in, I realized I should warn the plumbers that tenants were living upstairs just in case they had to cut into the main.

I open the door to the basement and hear the angle grinder going (cast iron main). Not a good sound to be greeted with. I rush down the stairs just as one of the plumbers is removing a 3’ section of the main at head height. 2 seconds later we hear the faint sound of a toilet flushing. Uh oh. Plumber’s eyes get really wide right before he gets a 1.6 gallon shower of nature’s finest.

2 years later we laugh about it. But at the time it was absolutely horrifying. Never again will he assume a building is vacant before opening up a main plumbing run.

[Matthew Reid]

@John Brodeur

This happens more frequent than one might think. Haha 😂😂

[Jami Morash]

So the other day I had a tenant call me and let me know that their furnace was out their name was Beth and I have another tenant named Beth as well so all morning I was texting back-and-forth with Beth about getting to her house and getting her furnace going asking her permission to enter since she wasn’t going to be there etc. I get to the house and the furnace is on the repair man said well let’s just take a look and we spent a good half hour to 45 minutes going over things cleaning things out till he felt satisfied then we left and I texted the tenant again letting her know that everything was fixed then I quickly realized that I was texting the wrong tenant no wait I was texting the right tenant oh no I had gone to the wrong house and entered without my tenants knowledge I was absolutely horrified and embarrassed I quickly called the tenant that I went in their house without them knowing and apologize profusely thank goodness they were very kind and thought it was funny then I started my journey of fixing the furnace all over again for the actual correct tenant what a nightmare. It’s funny to me now but not then.

[Bill Crow]

@Alicia Marks

One of the oddest ones I’ve had is one I’ve seen a time or two before on sites like BP, but it happened to me. I was inspecting one of our rentals and looking at the trees in the back yard to see if trimming was warranted. The neighbor behind struck up a conversation and when I told her why I was there, she asked if I could “make my tree not drop leaves in her yard”. Seriously.

[Alicia Marks]

Originally posted by @David Adams:

@Alicia Marks

Not funny but true. A couple years ago I had to evict a tenant . They showed up for court and said they would have everything out of the house by noon the next day . That afternoon I did a walk thru with my crew and discussed the few repairs and cleaning that we needed to do . One of my guys opens a closet door and there’s a small rectangular box . It’s a plastic box inside a cardboard box . Super heavy . We open the box and it’s the ashes of the renters mother . First thing I do is call my tenant that I evicted and asked her to please come pick this up . When she got there she apologized and said her aunts ashes were in another closet that she forgot to pick up

 My grandfather drove around with his mother's ashes in his trunk... for 10 years! After he passed away my dad called and said he finally met his grandmother. He found her ashes in the storage unit. Needless to say he took a day several weekends later to spread her ashes at the place she had wanted, almost 50 years later.

[Isaac S.]

@James Hamling has the best one!

my rentals are in Hollywood, the best was some years ago when I first started, got called to a very nice ladies apartment for some general maintenance, I had seen her at the building in passing and made small talk previously....but, what I did not know until that very moment when I walked into her apartment, was that she worked from home, as a dominatrix.....she had a 4x4 cage in the middle of the living room, chains from the ceiling, leather covered saw horse, and a rather large opened armoire filled with every size and type of wips and various other adult devices. I must confess, it was rather intimidating and even more unsettling to have her raise her eyebrows and look at me with that "...are you interested?" kind of nod of the head, as I was taking it all in...I could tell she enjoyed my discomfort, I guess that's par for the course.

but...the thing that, this year, makes me laugh the most, is the majority of multi-family CAP rates of properties on the market in LA !!!

[Karl B.]

I can't think of anything ha-ha funny. At one multi-family something kept getting into my shed by digging a hole and so I started trapping there with multiple cages. I've caught roughly 10 possum and a few skunks.

I take the possum to a local wooded area/beach called Presque Isle and let them loose because the area is infested with ticks and possum LOVE TO EAT ticks. 

And so I always make videos of the possums when I capture them, including giving them funny names. My favorite one seemed cool - he/she sniffed the air like a dog and seemed pleasant. I totally wanted to pet it but thought better of it. 

I now have an appreciation for possum and am happy when I catch one (unlike the skunk). Random fact: possum very rarely get rabies because they have a low core body temperature.