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Updated almost 8 years ago, 02/20/2017
My first Rental, turned into my first eviction :(
I've heard it a million times, "never rent to family." Being the naive person that I was -- possibly still is -- I didn't listen.
I rented my condo out to a family member in 2013. By early 2014, I noticed their rent payments were becoming more and more sporadic. This concerned me. By August 2014, I told them it was time they find else where to live. After a heated reaction, they agreed. Fast forward to January 2016, they were still there and somehow amassed an incredible $15,800 of back rent. The only course of action I saw by that point, was to evict. It was the hardest decision that I made that day -- it was probably a Sunday, Sundays are slow days for decision making needs.
I called my realtor friend to get his thoughts, and I'm not sure if he was trying to be funny or not but he said, "that's why I always tell people never rent to family" -- part of me thinks he wanted to rub a little salt on the wound.
After months of going back between the lawyer and the courts, I received a Summary of Judgement today, and the tenants in my rental will be removed by law enforcement if they do not voluntarily vacate in 2 weeks.
I'm pretty bummed that it came this far. I am not sure if I have questions for anyone or if I am subconsciously searching for some comfort.
In any case, I had to let it out.
#4 All Forums Contributor
- Lender
- Lake Oswego OR Summerlin, NV
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#4 All Forums Contributor
- Lender
- Lake Oswego OR Summerlin, NV
As children we have a responsibility to take care of our parents... not rent to them. it should have been free day one.. or not let them move in.. I would never charge my mother for anything.. if you can't afford to let them live there free then you should as stated never offered it.. our culture has got it backwards here in the US and we could Learn a lot from other cultures that take care of their parents and honor them until they pass
- Jay Hinrichs
- Podcast Guest on Show #222
Been there-done that! We survive and are better for it. One way or another, we all pay for our education. Going forward, when you hear of someone wanting to do business with a family member, YOU have become the expert and can guide them in the right direction based on your own experiences. POWERFUL!!!
Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs:
As children we have a responsibility to take care of our parents... not rent to them. it should have been free day one.. or not let them move in.. I would never charge my mother for anything.. if you can't afford to let them live there free then you should as stated never offered it.. our culture has got it backwards here in the US and we could Learn a lot from other cultures that take care of their parents and honor them until they pass
You're absolutely correct. There are a lot of great things about the American culture, but there are some little things that we can learn from other cultures.
We can do good a thousand times, and people don't remember. Unfortunately, they will forever remember the only time we screw up. This is a taint that will likely follow you for the rest of your life. Doesn't matter how successful you become, people will remember you for the son who evicted his own parent.
I don't only preach, but I practice it in my own personal life. Wife and I have been assisting our parents (2 sets of parents) around $3k-$4k/mo. I rented a 2-bedroom condo to my little cousin at $800/mo below market for almost 4 years until he bought his home late last year.
Call me an idiot, but I promised his mom I would take care of him when she was in her final days of fighting her cancer in 2008. I told her to let it go. I will take care of him. I have since fulfilled my promise. @David C., a friend I met through BP, who is now a good friend, has witnessed me in action.
People will not remember how much money we've made, but they will remember how we've lived. Let your bad experience be a lesson for all of us.
Cheers to the land of the free, and the home of the brave. Have a great 4th of July everyone. FREEDOM!
This post really saddens me. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, you took a long time to make your decision, and right or wrong you finally get to move forward. This is one of those situations where you are wrong no matter what you do (you shouldn't be an enabler, you owe your wife and kids financial security and a husband/father not distracted with negativity, a good relationship with your parents is important to your psyche) so you need to know you tried, did your best, and work on forgiving yourself. Keep malice out of your next moves with your parents and try to re-establish a healthy relationship with them. If you can, help them move into their new place. Just keep repeating that you love them, want them in your life, but the former situation was too toxic for you. I wish you good luck.
Originally posted by @Seth Macomber:
If I am not disowned, I would have been the son.
$100 says you get disowned.
My parents are not perfect but I could not see myself charging them rent. Better they live away from me than with me.
Thank you all for sharing...the experience, the thoughts and opinions.
I grew up in a different culture. The expectation is for my siblings and I take care of our parents, and we gladly accept this responsibility. We are not by any means rich but we are just following the example set by our parents who took good care of their parents (our grandparents).
Regardless of your reasons, you don't want your children to know that you are the son who was ruthless enough to sue the people responsible for bringing you into this world. Forget the 15k and treat it as money well spent for the gift they gave you--your life.
I'm sorry for being harsh. But talking about parents and suing sounds so wrong.
Many of y'all have framed this thread as kids should or have an obligation to take care of their parents. I think we all agree that we should do that to some extent. But this is not what this thread is about. The thread is about parents breaking their contract with their son
-Mom and Dad agreed to rent @Seth Macomber property for $xxxx. By the way, how do we know that the OP did not discount the rent to help out his parents ?
-They stopped paying and broke the agreement. The OP talks to them(I assume to save the relationship) and they agree to move. 2 years later they have not moved. Which party here made family events awkward ?
-The parents forced the OP into the eviction and even after hearing they still did not move.
We do have an obligation to take care of our parents and if the agreement was to let them live for free and he then changed his mind , my post would be different.
Seth- How did it turn out ?
#2 Contractors Contributor
- Severna Park, MD
If I had to make my parents house payment , let them stay in one of my rentals for free , or rent a place for them and foot the bill . It would be a small price for me to pay for what they have done for me .
This is all a matter of opinion but I would evict my parents but I wouldn't chase them with a judgement. The key thing is that the apartment needs to make money and they prevented that from happening, so eviction was absolutely the right move. They owe you money but they also spent countless hours caring for you, so I would forgive the debt and move on.
Hey, just an update. It turned out wellish. My parents literally didn't care they were evicted. I feel like I took it harder than they did. They found a place to rent really quick. I went to their place for Thanksgiving lunch, it was nice.
As for my end, I am in the final repairing of our condo. The back due rent was around 15k when it was all said and done, the repairs are approaching 4k, but the equity will still be nice since I was lucky and bought the condo during the peak of the recession. We're listing the condo at the beginning of Jan. 2017.
I gained an immense amount of knowledge through all of this. Not just "never rent to family", but also how to deal with contractors, dealing with lawyers, brokers, and coordinating all of the associated tasks that go with it.
I won't be chasing after my parents for any of the costs.
Thanks for the support guys, I really appreciate it. And for the few people that were mean, I think you're cool too, just not as cool as the other guys :)
No doubt a resolution has relieved some stress and hopefully the family can move forward.
I am very tough on my tenants regarding not paying rent. I am evicting a tenant right now who owes me five dollars from last month plus this month. I served her a 3 day notice on the fifth of this month. That said, my tenant is unrelated to me. One dream I have always had is to buy my parents a nicer home than they would ever have without me. One reason I am so determined to be a successful investor is so that I can live life on my terms and spend precious time with those I love while they are still alive, including my parents. So while I understand what you did from a business perspective, the fact that you mention you have lost sleep for 2 years tells me that you already know you screwed up. Never mix business with friends and family. And never treat loved ones like clients. This was likely a hard lesson to learn. Im glad it turned out ok in the end
I am so sorry that you had to learn this lesson. Just remember you are operating a business. And, we can choose who we rent to, but we cannot choose our family members. And, sometimes, we just have to do what we have to do. I hope you move on and don't let this continue to hurt you
I remember co-signing on a small car loan for my daughter a few years ago. She didn't pay, so I took the car away and sold it and paid off the loan. I told her to sign the title over to me. She didn't, so I had to sign it for her. (I had already bought and gave her a first car a few years before that)