The seller claims that she paid for a survey before and it cost 17k and then she was bitter that the buyer walked and she had to eat the cost which is why she is wanting me to pay for my own as an insurance policy that i won't rack up another cost like that for her and then bounce. 

You can also buy lists from companies like list source and there are some REI software companies that have a cash buyer search feature.Best way to find motivated sellers is to purchase lists and compile lists from city and county for 60-90-120 days late on mortgage, pre-foreclosure, delinquent taxes, water cutoff, code violation, probate, divorce, high equity, etc. and mail or cold call.Other methods are driving for dollars, door knocking, wholesalers, craigslist, Realtors, FSBO sites, expired listings, foreclosure sites, put out bandit signs, billboards, newspapers, other offline publications.You can use pay per click/adwords, facebook, Linkedin, Youtube, and other forms of online and social media.

Talk to leasing agents and ask them about DOM for rentalsIt takes work but doing the above steps will improve your market know-how so that you will know which neighborhoods are better for selling vs rentals and which neighborhoods are hot vs. cold, etc.

Have you knocked on doors, made cold calls, sent direct mail and finally have a contract?

Off-market through cold calling apartment owners.

So right now I'm doing everything that i possibly can , mail , cold calling, networking, literally anything i possibly can, haven't got any deals but trying so harrrrrddd.

By doing so, you will be cold calling an area you know nothing about thus getting into the groove of simply chatting with the most important piece of the puzzle - The financing.

Your first goal in the call, if you're cold calling, is to find out if there's any potential for a deal.  

How hot/cold are the leads?

I've used facebook groups, Craigslist post, and some cold calling.