A BP podcast that I listened to today impressed on me the "courtship" that happens when meeting with lenders. Go to BP Podcast #124. The whole thing is a good one, but for this topic, go to minute marker 29:00 (on the YouTube video version). The guest, Jered Sturm, got a lender on board simply because he sat down with the guy, showed him his portfolio, and spent a half hour chatting with him (i.e. developing a relationship) wore a tie to his meeting with the lender. The banker was on board because he made a professional presentation, and because he wore a tie. Brandon T. then explains the steps he took to impress a banker to secure a loan, which included creating a portfolio to showcase his experience and to show why the property was a good deal.
I think a lot of times, especially with the emphasis on digital communication now, people can overlook the importance of interacting in person and putting forth an effort to put their best foot forward. I did think that her reply to you seemed snooty, but there are a hundred more lenders to woo :-)