I'm disappointed. Painting all contractors ( or even most of them) with a broad brush of con men is like saying all RE Investors are just out to be slum lords and only care about the money and Flippers are selling you junk houses with paint jobs.
It is smart to be careful, check licensing, insurance, bonds and references. That is just smart business. I am a woman in construction for most of my life now and I still get the "good 'ol boy" syndrome from time to time. It is wise for you to use your military experience with this type of attitude. The good news is if you are talking to a contractor like that ... uh, DON'T use them! They have to be willing to respect you so that you can respect them.
@Account Closed This will decrease as you work with them over time and multiple jobs and become more flexible as you both build a relationship of trust. Don't pay them half up front( typical 10-30% ) and hold 10-20% until job completion, depending on the total cost of the project. % complete payments as you go is a great pay schedule.