Soon after purchasing the home, I found the ceilings were made of horse hair plaster.

One of those inefficiencies is race aversion, if not outright racism.

People who have service dogs (or horses, as these are the only 2 service animals) that are genuine have no issue disclosing that on the front end and can answer the 2 questions easily - is the animal necessary for a disability, and what specific tasks has the dog (or horse, if you're getting one of those) been trained to perform? 

A horse and buggy might get me where I want to go, but I'll choose other options.That being said, just because someone is using an algorithm doesn't mean it's the right one.

After acquisition, we furnished it, added a couple decks for a hot tub and solo stove fire pit, as well as a ton of string lights and were off to the races!

Service animals can be dogs or miniature horses.

It usually works out if you have a great property because people will say "wow this is an amazing property for a killer deal" and youll end up with a glowing first few reviews if it pans out. then you are off to the races

I always get out of the rat race first!

I would recommend considering conventional financing until you reach Fannie Mae's limit of 10 properties, then consider either a portfolio loan, and start your race to 10 again, or look at DSCR at that time. 

Is the property under a high tension power line or down wind from the horse rendering factory or on a main thoroughfare or some other obstruction that you wouldn't want to live near?