I understand everyone is different and you have so much experience under your belt, maybe this does sound ridiculous to you or some kind of scam but in my case, if I don't have investors on board this would actually be an option for me to get into the investing business and have a partner by my side.

Ridiculous. 

Yes we're doing everything we can by contacting the home warranty and waiting for them, but two weeks is quite ridiculous to be without a refrigerator.

They MUST be motivated.Now friggin ridiculously investors go OUT OF THEIR WAY, to make the seller believe  that are MOTIVCATED buyers.

I'm looking on MLS but the market is crazy right now and HOA fees are ridiculous.

If your area follows my area, what you will start seeing however is comps indicating it's worth $80k, so the listing agent lists it for $70k, and then it goes for $90k, and then listing agent tries to cancel the contract before the appraisal even happens if the appraiser that calls isn't one that the listing agent likes, and then the appraisal comes in at $82k, the listing agent calls to yell at me that $82k is a "ridiculously low" opinion of value, then I ask what she listed it at, then she says "$70k" then I respond "OK so if you listed it for $70k, how is $82k ridiculously low?

I have several lines out to find a suitable partner in these areas but your experiences and foresight is invaluable which is why we all love BP.Also, this seems so ridiculous to ask.

However, after doing the numbers it seems to me that taxes are ridiculously expensive.

Even cash only, that is ridiculously low.  

You two marry when and if the time is right, not to keep a FHA mortgage, which is ridiculous.