Yellow letter writers-give me your best script and critique mine

[Timothy Frazier]

Been hitting yellow letters hard for some off market deals. All going to absentee owners in zip codes I’m interested in. Started off ok but been going cold lately. Here’s my script:

Dear Bob-

Hello, my name is Tim Frazier, and recently I came across your property at 123 ABC St in Green Township. I am very interested in purchasing this property myself. If by chance you would like to discuss this opportunity, please contact me at anytime.

Best regards.

-Tim Frazier

I use yellow lined paper, red ink. Envelope is small and white, trying to make it look like an invitation.

Give me your best script. Do you have one that works? What would you change about this one?