I am too dumb to handle excel beyond Windows '95, lol, so I'm hoping for something that's dummy user friendly (if that's not too much to ask!)

Not advice, but when this Congress package gets approved the market might swing wild up, that would be a possible window to scram out in the green.

With dual agency, all the standard rules and expectations go out the window." 

Aiming for 2/3 beds that are 100k total max, but obviously will be attempting to get distressed properties for much lower around 60k.My goal is to put $5k down, have around $500 PITI, reserve $10k for updating kitchen/bathroom, and rent out for $800-1200 a month.Is it possible to get 5-10% conventional loans, so I have enough cash reserves left over to self-fund renovations and basic maintenance?

I’m redoing my kitchen and replacing a tile floor.

Make sure everything is clean, look in cupboards, check the oven to make sure it is clean, turn on elements to make sure they work, check toilets and sinks/tubs to make sure everything works, windows/doors/cupboards. 

From what I could observe, the bathrooms could use a face lift (Hopefully no more than $3k each) and the tiny kitchen could have flooring, backsplash, countertop, and new appliance change.

I'll roll my window down and turn my vehicle off so I can listen to the noises of the area and try to smell the air.

The saving grace of this home, all the natural woodwork was kept in remarkable condition AND since the home is in the flight path of the airport, 5 years ago Mitchell International came in and replaced all the windows, exterior doors, installed 2 new furnaces, 2 new central air units, basement dehumidifiers, and water heaters. 

You mention doing your own maintenance and Repairs and capital improvements (roof, windows, furnace, water heater, etc).