He turns on the light, picks up a random magazine and starts reading it to Jerry when he asks him what the hells going on. 

I also agree with Jack, start out with more turnkey or very light work. 

Situated on lake with a 1/2 acre.Scope of Work will consist of cosmetic improvements to include the following: painting of interior/exterior, power washing, cutting of lake grass, upgrading bathrooms, new kitchen appliances as the kitchen cabinets are in great condition, upgrading of electrical outlets, installing of new lighting fixtures, cleaning of tile flooring and etc.

I'll be adding value based on the Scope of Work which will consist of cosmetic improvements to include the following: painting of interior/exterior, power washing, cutting of lake grass, upgrading bathrooms, new kitchen appliances as the kitchen cabinets are in great condition, upgrading of electrical outlets, installing of new lighting fixtures, cleaning of tile flooring and etc.

This is a business, and it's an income stream for us so I don't take this component of the text lightly at all. 

Tell contractor to leave porch lights on.

1 light in each room, or recessed cans with dimmers?

I'm wondering if:a) Is this even possible assuming we do none of the work ourselves (not even changing a light bulb) during the phase we use the $ towards the rehab?

take not paying rent way too lightly.  

Can take the ferry to downtown, then hop a bus to MS campus--or light rail when that's done. :-)