I credit her and her lack of ethics with being one the negatives in real estate that turned into a positive.

A Realtor is subject to the Code of Ethics which has some extra disclosures when buying from a client(A contact for a listing can be considered a client) I would suggest spending time cultivating for agents who can deliver deals and marketing directly to sellers for off market deals will be the much better bang for the $$

This is way old, I know, but I was hoping to find a resolution as to the potential ethics (?)

I'd then create a post on BiggerPockets saying where you are from and that you're looking for advice on how to find an ethical mentor in your area.

The source of the problem is operators/investors who try to follow guru methods, often they are unethical or illegal, so you're asking these other professionals to bend their ethics or legal issues to pull of some lame strategy learned on the internet, wrong way to learn.Other professionals who are good at what they do have reputations as well, just as you will have from your dealings.

This is more of an ethical question than anything.

Same with a good realtor and the 3%.The 40 hours of training to become a realtor basically just covers legal and ethical, not how to be a good realtor.

Five years into the marriage they are growing distant due to the man not sharing her work ethic, ambition or whatever the reasons may be and after a couple of years of failed marriage counseling, she finds out he has been cheating.

I now have the work ethic and I did not have in my twenties that came with experience. 

You are violating your code of ethics, and sometimes those offers do get taken...