Don't get into sorting out who pays what "half" or any of that nonsense.

We have enough capital to purchase a house in cash in a nearby neighborhood with the target of $2000/month in rent; that is considered the fair market rate for the sort of house we're looking at. 

Talk to a few and find out if you can get some sort of pre-approval.  

Are there any experienced note investors out there that can hold my hand, either for a fee, or possibly in a joint venture of some sort?

Will the bank still require some sort of down payment even though the 20% equity is already technically met.

We are sort of a one stop shop for investors!

That doesn't make sense if he's a billionaire.Now, someone that "gets some basic gov subsidy, dines el fresco by the bay, sleeps in local shelters, or urban camping when the weather is nice" probably wouldn't qualify as FI in 90% of people's definition.That's why I was saying that to get to a standard base definition, the majority of us who are commenting on here should have some sort of agreement on FI.

Losing the use of a private utility is also a giant pain in the butt and will put grey hairs on your head prematurely.  

But without a specific minimum expected return open yourself up to making purchases emotionally and you will find yourself justifying all sorts of things.As well, you state that it is a good long-term opportunity because it has good cash flow plus appreciation plus stable rental market.  

Some sort of routine inspection service would be pertinent.