Then we had to come up with 60k to do the repairs(we expected to be able to use the the loan proceeds), and then afterward, have to wait for them to release the funds.  

To show your value to them you will want to give them a pre-approval or proof of funds or hard money letter so they can confirm that you have the resources to buy when you find the right deal.

if your using SDIRA money you cannot use personal funds as well.  

I had hoped the funds I pulled out would have gotten both properties completed and earning rents by now, but this has not been the case.

This is important to show your lender so you get credit for your payments towards your total DP at the time of closing.This will buy you time to get the rest of the funds, and also lock up the property.If you negotiate a longer Option period than from now to 4/18, you will have a longer time to get your funding in place, and get a larger total DP credit.

I already know the market fairly well and I have funds to get going but where do I start?

If you find a partner, you can leverage their knowledge, systems, and contractors, and they get to leverage your funding.

I have about 350K in cash and about 900K in retirement funds that I could access, I think tax and penalty free by setting up a ROBs (a method I am investigating that via the tax code apparently lets one use retirement savings by setting up a C corp and funding a company by buying stock in it with retirement funds).  

I read "Finding and Funding Great Deals" by Anson Young, and I was surprised by all the different motivations to sell their home a person may have and the different ways to find the appropriate information to target this people.

Why would you make more repairs out of pocket to someone that obviously doesn't care... plus she doesn't have the funds to move, where is she getting the funds to make repairs to the roof.She should just move, take the LL to court to recover the previous out of pocket expenses that she made if they are something the LL should of.