These rates seem too low to me but that is what I found.As you can see, while you might be able to purchase the property with a small down payment, there will be significant negative monthly cash flow.

My CPA advised me to split the generic costs such as property tax and water bills equally between both units, which seems reasonable.

Ohio seems like a great place to start BRRRR. 

A $25 rent increase next year seems reasonable, but be sure to check market rates in your area to be sure it's a competitive price.

He seemed spooked when we called and said he wanted nothing to do with the house and had bad memories about it.

Now, with borrowing at 6% +, the equity investments just don’t seem to make sense.More telling, perhaps, is that my usual sources of deal flow have not been able to come up with those one off GREAT deals we used to get once or thrice a year.  

They seem to be popular right now in the investing community

Needless to say, here is the issue:The neighbor on one side of my property's window is literally looking right into my yard... like.. they can see me sitting on the toilet if I were to forget to close the door.

You are obviously very knowledgeable about your field.Broad Index funds and residential real estate seem frothy to me. 

We are paying all cash so have thought about self insuring as this trend seems to be growing.