Issue with the neighbors window

[Jullien S.]

Hello! I just bought my first house about a year ago. It required MAJOR renovating which cost quite a lot of money. Needless to say, here is the issue:

The neighbor on one side of my property's window is literally looking right into my yard... like.. they can see me sitting on the toilet if I were to forget to close the door. She is an elderly woman, so I get that she has nothing else to do.. but she sits right at the window with her dog and it feels like she watches me everytime I'm in my yard. On top of that, her dog sits on her lap and barks like mad every time he sees me. I HATE IT. So - I installed a beautiful trellis with blooming flowers. The next day, the neighbors were upset that I am blocking their window. I told them I wanted more privacy and that it felt like I was living in a fish bowl. I also said that I don't want her dog barking at me all the time when I'm just trying to enjoy my yard. They heard nothing I said.. they just wanted me to move the trellis so they can have air in their window and the dog can look at the wildlife in MY yard. <insert fuming face here> I said I would think about how to move it with no intention on moving it at all. I want privacy. I grew up in the country with no one seeing me. I am struggling. Needless to say, they sat out back on their property speaking very loudly that "if I'm going to be like that, they'll build a huge ugly fence for me to look at". I walked over and said, um.. you're THAT upset about beautiful flowers outside your window? Internally, I don't care- please, please build a fence. Nevertheless.. I also have extreme anxiety and having my neighbors pissed at me is 100% not an option for me. I ended up moving the one trellis which opened up 80% of their window. I decided to move my patio to a more private location where no one sees me to have that peace.. even though she blasts her TV through her open window. So I talked myself into thinking that will be ok - i can deal with her watching me play with my dog in the backyard and mow, etc. as long as I have my little oasis where she can't see me.

Fast forward a few hours later, and I come home with my dog. I walk towards my house and the second her dog, sitting on her lap sees me, he starts flipping out barking like mad at us. I jump - I have PTSD. I turn and look at them and give a dirty look of like, this is why I wanted a trellis lady. I think she saw me, so she starts to her dog, Oh, it's just the neighbor, you know her. Stop barking at her. Window wide open staring at me while I am trying to get into my house. Dog keeps barking at me.. oh, do I need to close the window? YES PLEASE DO.. she doesn't. The dog keeps barking.. she starts laughing. LAUGHING. I'm seething at this point. She clearly clearly clearly heard nothing I said about her dog barking at me and that was one of the reasons I wanted the trellis. I TRY to ignore them.. but the yapping of her little dog just keeps going, and going, and going, and she just keeps saying stupid stuff to him and doing nothing. Then, she ignores him and he just keeps barking and barking at me. It's horrendous. But again.. i tried to remind myself that who cares.. once I have my oasis complete, it won't matter. But then the laughing? That did it. I am very irritated now. You're LAUGHING AT ME while your dog barks at me!!!!?? WTH

Well, ultimately, like I said, I do NOT want my neighbors pissed at me, so installing something to completely block the window is something I won't do.. as much as I want to. I was thinking about putting a big pot with lemongrass or something right in front of the window so it just blocks enough that maybe the dog will shut up and she can still have her air in her window. But I think he'll still see me. I thought about trying to put something up where my little deck is and at my door, but he will still hear me, and he can see me then the second I step off of the stairs. I was thinking about giving it a week or so, and if it doesn;t stop - which I know it won't.. saying something about the barking and reminding them about the trellis. More or less.. I moved the trellis, so don't let your dog bark at me when I am in MY yard.

So - Any suggestions? My therapist and best friends all said, screw them, put the trellis back. But like I said, I will not live next to neighbors that are pissed at me, hate me, and could retaliate at me. And let me reiterate that their window is quite literally looking into my backyard and into my house if I leave the door open for the screen door.

I am attaching a very rough drawing of what I am dealing with. Again, a fence or trellis directly in front of their window where I would like it to be.. is sadly not an option at all. And the space between my door and their window is roughly 15ft.. the space between my fence and their window is less than 10".

Am I being ridiculous? What can I say, and how can I say it, to the neighbors in hopes they shut their dog up? I honestly at this point don't care about her seeing into my yard. I'm moving my patio - it's fine. But the barking - NO.

So unfortunately any comments of build a fence anyways or put your trellis back is sadly unhelpful. I definitely never thought this would be an issue when I purchased my house. It is something that will be majorly considered when I am ready to buy something else. Thank you!!!!!

Thank you!