I find it unusual that almost all of your criteria are for personal preferences vs which markets have strong appreciation, land lord friendly laws, least natural disasters, etc...

It can be tough to make properties cash flow here, and the potential for market appreciation is uncertain, especially in these times.

Due to these uncertain times, I'm nervous to put a good chunk of my cash reserves into my first investment.Ideally I would like to get a traditional loan with a hefty down payment as a safe option, while I learn the ropes of my first investment, however, I'm worried that my current employment situation would not allow me to do this.I am currently furloughed and my husband is an independent contractor (due to covid restrictions in our region we have been forced to shut down operations).What are my lending options since we don't have "job security" on paper.

Calling 200 banks is not unusual for most investors.  

Might be necessary to post an example of what you are doing to determine if its a computational error or you buying at an unusually high price.

I have access to a decent chunk of capital, however, am uncertain about going the routes of either private or hard money.

If you're that uncertain about your future, I wouldn't sign a 10-year lease.

It's not very unusual for some of the larger AC units to be too big for some windows.

This is an unusual situation.

I'd work at correcting that through a Ratio Utility Billing Service, but for the purposes of valuing the property now, I'd use at least 50%, and, as another poster said, 60% is not at all unusual.