If you can climb a ladder, lift 20 pounds and crawl, you can do this.

Even with a "I'm not interested, go pound sand."

For the last three years I've owned multiple rental properties in an undesirable area in California with good cash flow.

I believe that a property doesn't rent, in most cases, for one of two reasons:1) The property itself (i.e. condition, location, other undesirable factors, etc)Or 2) It's priced too high.

At this point, I would respond with that detailed letter and politely tell the landlord to pound sand.

One of my excuses is that anything over 40 pounds causes too much damage (true).  

In a upswining (more seller's) market, does it make sense to purchase 1 property putting a higher amount down, then just waiting for a downswing in prices, or better in the long term to pound out 2-3 deals in a few months and invest that way?

I have a buddy on the national police force who told me they're still trying to figure out if it was the Bulgarian or the Russian mafia that took him out on the water and pounded him until his heart stopped, then dumped him over the side.The dude drove a Suzuki Jimny.

It's always great to save money, and that is generally a good thing, but trying to penny pinch on legally binding documents is going to be at your own risk. hence the saying "penny wise, pound foolish" 

When you have the kitty, take it to the pound and give your former tenant a call on the way there.