Updates include new upstairs flooring, kitchen counters/sink, bathroom vanities/toilets, and fresh paint.

Toilet backups are really a myth for the most part that every potential landlord worries about but things like that are actually extremely rare.

Someone took the little basket that holds soap and shampoo and the sign on the back of the toilet and placed them waaay in the back of the bathroom cabinet.Someone removed the tiny little LED lights I have on this 8 foot tall fake ficus in the kids bunk room and put in on the deck.

Though, yes it's not a guarantee people won't live there and squat illegally. 

Are they actually as time consuming as people say "4am toilet broken events"?

And as for vacancies I haven’t had any but I’ve had one repair to a backed up toilet from the total of my portfolio.

Also, the toilets are old, probably 15-25 years old.

Things such as a space to cook are high on that list (toilets are a big one, too).

Tenants and Toilets are stressful.

For example one was a paralegal/ wannabe lawyer and she was always threatening legal action over little things like someone leaving the toilet seat up (seriously, real example).