As you've noticed, if you're not finding the inventory in MF, I would try SFH with guest house, casita, in-law suite, or even basement or large out building. Something that you can convert into a pseudo-duplex are the best deals right now for owner occupy that we're finding.
Also on the agent front, have you tried your local REIA? You might try there and ask around with other investors to find a more investor friendly agent that'll help you find off-market properties and run numbers. Before I got my license the best agent that I knew owned more rentals than me, and always kept me on track with just the simple comment "resale value" when I'd go off the rails oohing or ahhing over man caves or large garages. A good agent can help you find deals, a great agent will help you "make" deals happen that you might not have thought of or seen.
On getting your offer through, as some people have mentioned letters help if you've got a family and you're pitching to a seller that has some emotional equity in the property, but cash always works best. Over offer, escalation clauses, higher earnest money, waiving contingencies (though don't waive the inspection!), shortening inspection periods, shortening closing periods by getting fully qualified with your lender and guaranteed close in 2-3 weeks, etc. You might also look into a semi-hard money lender or private lender to do an all cash offer to up your perceived value to get the deal locked up, and roll some rehab into your loan for when you refi out with your VA loan later.
Hope this helps. Good hunting!