All Forum Posts by: Brenda Whittaker

@Hugh Ayles laughing and thank you!  @Gino Barbaro very insightful, thank you so much.  Selling the cute little rental could mean some debt reduction and other opportunity, or it could mean disaster, if I dont play the cards exactly right I will not be able to afford my own home mortgages.  Its just a very unnerving time.

WOW such a beautiful outpouring of love!!  This place is awesome!  @Steve Vaughan thank you, no I dont believe in religion and I havent got much family.  Got a lot of roomies, theyre great but it really doesnt do much for my confidence, people will be encouraging but its just not what I need.  But I like your thing about writing it all down for comparison.  I bought my own home that way.  Good idea.  And yes I would be free from maintenance and weather worries, its even in a tornado belt. @Jesus Minier thank you!  And the property is near San Antonio Tx, its extremely beautiful there.

@Omar Ruiz  I've considered everything.  I dont trust myself to pick the right partner even.  I feel like it would probably end in disaster.  

@Steve Vaughan  thank you so much.  Your encouragement  means a lot, really.  Part of what;s so difficult is that Im no longer in the position I used to be.   I used to have 800 credit, down payment money, etc., now if I screw up it would be the end of me.  The mistakes have created sheer terror in me, and when I find forgiveness for myself, it's short lived.  I beat myself up every day.  The house I have to sell is in an area I absolutely love and I dont want to say goodbye to it.  I was supposed to be there a month ago to get the house ready to sell and I am stuck at home, two states away, frozen in sheer terror.  Stupid human stuff.  Cant get over the regret!  It's amazingly powerful.  I also sold the best classic car in the world, 25 years ago for $2000, now valued at $75,000.  It has made it impossible to trust myself and impossible to sell anything, I've become attached to every physical thing, like I have to hang on to stuff for dear life, in fear of making more devastating idiotic moves.  Dumb problem, I know.  

You didnt have to personally qualify for a bank loan?  I dont get it.  

I always hated being stuck in human body, and the human brain is even worse.  It has this storage of ridiculous stupid emotions that hold us back and in my case it's stronger than any rational capabilities I didnt get enough of during creation....  my emotional attachment to my real estate is ruining my life.  I can't stop lamenting about properties I have so stupidly lost, like the apartment complex I so stupidly sold for no reason, it was one of those brain farts.  It was a miracle that I was able to get into it, an old assumable bank loan and owner carried the rest.  I'd have $1M in that asset today and about $5000 month income, but NO.  I sold it, ten years ago.  Or the industrial building I built with equity out of my own home, sold just before the skyrocketing values of course, and the buyer made a cool $500,000 profit off my building, which btw I m still trying to pay off that home loan for, 20 years later. I regret those mistakes every day, and I am fully aware that I need to let go but I simply have been unable to, even with ten years of studying self help programs. Now I have a cute little rental in another state that Im going to be forced to sell because I desperately need the money, and Im so heartbroken over it I am frozen in anxiety and can't make the trip out to get it ready for sale.  I can't get a loan against it because I dont meet all the f____ing criteria, even with ridiculously expensive hard money.  I just want to bury my head in the sand and dream of far away places.

Hmmm didnt get that yet, and Id still have to hire someone to use excel for me.  I even took a class for that and failed.  I'll look for that email.  

So, in researching just how exactly to build relationships with private lenders, I get the notion a portfolio of past experience would help.  I just want to fix houses!  But alas, there's always another step backwards.  I am not a paperwork natural and extremely unorganized.  There are notes everywhere and I cant find anything.  Investment experience spans about 20 years, though I have only done a small number of rehabs in that time.  Anyway, now that I want to work with lenders I face the daunting task of creating a portfolio of experience to show them.  My question is, is there anyone or anywhere I can go to hire for this?  Can I pay someone somewhere to create a professional portfolio for me, because IT'S TOO MUCH!!!  I can't do this.  Same with a business plan.  Help.  

@Boyd McClean YES!  I do want to set a meeting.  Realistically it should be after next weekend, I have to stop in northern TX for a day or two.  So any time that following week.  (Week on March 7th.)

@Chris Mason Omg I'm rolling on the floor laughing ~