@Ben Leybovich writes:
Let’s talk about things that matter for once.
Any takers?
I'll take a ticket!
Hi Ben!
I write this post from a deep interest in all things human, an interest I did not have just a short time ago. And I write from a position of not caring too much what anyone thinks. I find this gives me a freedom (and precision) that was often missing from earlier attempts at deciphering life. I can *not* say I have figured anything out - let's be clear on that - but I can say that I am able to see things differently than ever before, and for that, I feel extraordinarily lucky.
Ben, you write:
Real Estate is so freaking boring… and yet that’s all we talk about. Why – is it because this is all we are interested in?
I think we all ruminate about all of these things, all the time. And I think a lot of posters on BP use RE as a proxy - wittingly or not - to 'discuss' intimate issues that affect them deeply. "How do I start?" is a request for direction in life. "Renter did some egregious thing, what should I do?" is a request for permission to act definitively in one's own best interests, regardless of outside approval (which is somehow always needed). "Contractor f*cked me, now I'm a victim" is a request for confirmation of a confirmation bias. Yes, lols all around, but it's all fairly true.
Why do we use RE to talk about the deeper issues?
Well, because life's issues are hard to talk about (right, Ryan?). Life's issues are difficult to even define (which is a requirement to solving any problem at all), and even the successful definition of a problem brings many, many ancillary issues to the fore. (This can be an entirely separate post, btw.)
I believe any problem that presents in life is a simple stand-in for deeper issues - issues that are often so enmeshed into one's own personality that their (eventual) resolution (aka transformation) requires a disintegration of self (literally, a dis-integration), and a subsequent rebuilding of the self. (Yes, heavy stuff, but also why this is such a difficult - and rare - nut to crack.)
Ben, you are asking deep questions that no one else on the forum is asking - why is that?
@Jerry W. says it well:
It is only after success has become a reality in some ways that these questions begin to slip unbidden into our minds.
There is something in your life that is bringing these questions to the front - perhaps many things. I know from your writing and podcasts what some of these issues are (so I have cheated, in a sense, on this question!), but it's the same for anyone who is asking deep questions and seeking more than a basic existence. Anyone asking this has an inkling that there is more - so much more - to this life than what currently *is* - no matter how good, or peer-approved, or shiny, or exclusive, or C-notey, or Lear-jetty, or whatever. Anyone asking this question has reached the top and has felt... not much.
You are there. You have done a lot in your life - more than most - and you have realized that you need something deeper - a deeper sense of satisfaction, of contentment, of peace. Sometimes, small glimpses of these states come to us - in helping others, in connecting, in altruistic acts, in charity - but overall, these states are elusive in continuous form. I think this is what you are after.
@Jerry W. also says it more concisely than I do:
Reflection and self searching is a very healthy thing.
I can write more if it's helpful, but I feel this is a good start. There is a lot to explore here, and I think your questions are the beginning of a wonderfully introspective journey, one that will no doubt bring you much more satisfaction than any investment ever would (though I do believe very much in the awesome feeling of a great investment!)
Again, I'll quote Jerry W:
Thanks for the post Ben. Maybe these are the kind of things that folks like to discuss in private, but we all need to think of them.
Thanks much, Ben, and take it easy!
