Legal stuff first: I am a licensed Sr. Loan Originator NMLS# 1157855 and am currently licensed to originate in IN, OH, KY, FL. If you are not in those states what I say may or may not apply to you. Please consult an advisor in your state.
This being said the Lender does not know this stuff until your appraisal and cert are completed. A good lender will prep you for this and get you working on it earlier in the process before money is spent.
Secondly most lenders do not refund appraisal as it is a due diligence cost on your part just like an inspection. Some may issue you a credit for future items. In regards to the points and LTV: The low LTV indicates lender fears the deal and this is a courtesy attempt that you can take or leave typically it is 75%. The points are a little high in my book on such a low LTV.
The odds are he hoped you would shop him as a no-warrantable condo is a pain in the butt.
As for the ethics your loan officer is not All Knowing and should prep you that everything could topple a deal right up till closing. As an investor you know this and as such he may not have felt the need to remind you. Consider everything up till closing as due diligence process by the lender and as such they can walk away if it is a bad deal in their mind.
If at any point he was unprofessional it would be in assuming you knew what was happening. I ask my borrowers a lot of questions to determine how knowledgeable they are.