Family beating the **** out of me for becoming a landlord. What the hell?

[Joey Hansell]

Hi everyone, I am seeing if anyone else here is struggling to get support from your family for your decision to invest in real estate by becoming a landlord. I would like to acquire many more and quit my job some day soon.

I'm 25 and work as a CPA during the day, no wife/kids. I read up on it for months before finally spending most of my savings (left a big chunk for an emergency fund) on 2 single family homes in town about 2 months ago. I finally got them both fixed up and got them both listed AND rented out this week!!

I was so excited and finally told my parents and my 2 older brothers. I never spoke to them about his because I know they would say "why would you waste all those years becoming a CPA and then throw it all away to do a thing that someone without a degree/designation could do". 

Well I told them last night at a delayed fathers day dinner. They all called me stupid, foolish, wreckless, slum-lord, etc. My mom said she was disappointed that I did this and she expected more out of me. WTF, right?

[Christopher Telles]

You made the right decision, your family just can't see it yet.

When I first became an entrepreneur and quit my managerial municipal government job with all the benefits and retirement security that comes with one of those my parents just couldn't understand, why they asked? Being middle class and used to working for a paycheck all of their lives they couldn't understand why anyone would walk away from that type of job and security.

My why though was because I knew I wanted more, pretty simple, but hard to explain. I wanted to get out of a stale work/career environment. I wanted to be able to go out to dinner and make my house payments all in the same month (and not because of a tax refund). I wanted to own more than the one bedroom house that was to small for my wife and I, our infant son, and the baby she was carrying.

They still didn't get it. They saw us struggle, sacrifice, and work boatloads of hours as entrepreneurs. I think it finally settled in and they got it when I moved my family into a big house in an affluent beach community in So Cal, and they could see we were really enjoying life without worrying about money. We continued to buy buildings and build a good size commercial real estate portfolio.

Your family doesn't understand, and as a new investor maybe you too, that having an accounting background in real estate can serve as the nuclear power to fuel growth of a real estate investment company. Real estate funds (big ones) are created as small funds by investors with real estate experience, or experienced managing money. They small funds can grow like wild fire when there is an experienced CFO type that can manage the money, not to mention structure the deals too. Likely, you might have experience in both soon. 

So you see, while mom dad and bro's don't quite get it yet, they will soon. When they see your income and net worth grow they'll see it. You might point out that the majority of HNW individuals built a very large percentage of their exuberant wealth vis a vie real estate investments. Look up and discuss with them the list of American billionaires that cull the bulk of their wealth through real estate, there are dozens, and perhaps pose to them the question if real estate didn't offer such great opportunity then why is Warren Buffet's Berkshire Hathaway creating one of the largest real estate companies in the country.

[Ndy Onyido]

@Joey Hansell

You are not only smart or invetsing in real estate, but even smarter to executing this without inorming the discouragers........because you knew they would talk you out of it.....

Go right ahead and in two years time, circle back with them and I can assure you, non of them will be close to you in wealth building..

Congratulations!!!!!!

[Ndy Onyido]

@Joey Hansell

meant.......You are not only smart for invetsing in real estate, but even smarter to executing this without inorming the discouragers.....

[Carolyn Pitts]

My husband was laid off Oct 2002 and his desire was to start his own business and buy rental's. I was not in agreement and not supportive. Now 11 years later we own  3 properties free & clear. I understand and see clearly the freedom in having the rent checks coming in every month. I say do it you want regret it.

[Chanté Owens]

"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period."
~ Will Smith

[Ndy Onyido]

@Carolyn Pitts

Thank you for the honesty and sincerity  and am happy you are now fully supportive and I do commend you for that........

But wow! 11 years and 3 houses clear......awesome achievement...

How did you/he do it? :)

[Peter Sanchez]

This is the crab bucket phenomenon.  You don't need to  put a lid on a bucket of crabs because as soon as one tries to climb out, the other crabs latch onto it and pull it back down into the bucket. 

People would rather see you fail because it gives them an excuse for not trying to improve their situation.  You're doing something to improve yourself and your doing it ethically and on your own.  Hold your head up high.  The world needs more entrepreneurs like us. 

[Vida Novak]

Haters gonna hate.

There are a dozen saying that go something like, "if nobody is criticizing you, you're not doing anything worthwhile."  

Keep going.

[Daniel I.]

I've noticed a lot of CPAs invest in real estate. Probably because they tend to be numbers people. But not having your family's support or understanding has to be annoying, to say the least. Personally, I'd defend myself and actions by explaining all the benefits of real estate investing, but if they prefer to stay ignorant to it, I'm sure it's not worth your breath. There's a reason why most of the wealthiest people in the world invest in real estate. Sorry they don't get it, but I'm glad you do. I'm sure they'll be wanting you to teach them everything in ten years.

[Patrick Donovan]

Create an account here on BP for the family and tell them to read some of the success stories and see how successful people are and how successful we WILL be by doing this !

[Carolyn Pitts]

Originally posted by @Ndy Onyido:

@Carolyn Pitts

Thank you for the honesty and sincerity  and am happy you are now fully supportive and I do commend you for that........

But wow! 11 years and 3 houses clear......awesome achievement...

How did you/he do it? :)

[Carolyn Pitts]

[Devin Scott]

Congrats on your deal! It would be nice to have family support but if they are not successful real estate investors, you cant take their advice. 

[Matthew Cole]

People mock what they don't understand. I'm 30 with a college education, a very good job that pays me well and have always set the goal to exit the rat race as soon as possible and on my own terms. Having a different mind set doesn't go over well with everyone, but now that I have 8 units and will soon have a 9th which happens to be a vacation home I don't get as many of the "slum lord" comments, but more of the "how are you doing it" comments these days. I've done all of this while my wife has move to part time as a teacher and we have had 2 kids! I'm still a small fish in a big pond, but know I will continue to acquire real estate as an early means to an end and will get to enjoy my 40s significantly more that my friends and peers. Good Luck and if they irritate you just ask them how much do they know about what is happening with their own 401k? My guess is next to nothing. At least you have a handle on your investments and are producing income that doesn't have to wait until your 65.

[Nicole A.]

And, sometimes, if they're not calling you a slumlord, they think you are "moneybags." 

Then they say vague comments that hint at their assumption that you're rich and how they are jealous of this apparent fact.

Sorry your family was not only not supportive, but quite harsh in their response. It probably hurts because we want our family to be proud. But sometimes, your family is just wrong. 

Keep after your goals and congrats on your accomplishments this far! Most people only dream of what you've already done!

[Jesse T.]

Congrats on your properties.  It sounds like you are off to a good start.

The reaction of your family really says more about them than it does about you.  One thing about Real Estate is that has an emotional component that something like stocks generally do not.  Has your family had bad experiences with Real Estate?  Is your family against investments in general?  It seems crazy but some people are of the mindset "make a lot of money/spend a lot of money". 

To the degree possible I would ignore criticisms that are based on emotional response rather than an objective illustration of risks.

[Mark Nolan]

@Joey Hansell

Welcome to Bigger Pockets. BP is a treasure chest full of resources. You will find resources here from blogs to pod casts and forums. You can also send messages to members which is my favorite part of the website.

[Chris L.]

I feel your pain @Joey Hansell. I worked in sales for years and my family was supportive. So I was shocked at their reaction to get involved in real estate, calling me a "slumlord". My first thought was to prove them wrong by showing them the nice properties I managed and positive feedback I got. But it did not change, and it dawned on me that it was the industry, not my efforts, that they were criticizing. Even if I were as successful as Robert Kiyosaki and then donated all my profits away to children's hospitals, I would still be a "slumlord" to them. 

My advice is that it's not worth the effort to argue with naysayers, surround yourself with supportive people. Some people will always be resentful of your success or associate real estate with some slimy agent or landlord they dealt with in the past.

[Chris D.]

Hang in there. Don't let the naysayers get you down. Perhaps invite them to read some of the success stories here!  When people become educated they start to become converted. It may not happen with your family but you will have the last laugh when you are sitting there with 50 to 100 rental properties, lots of cash flow, doing something you enjoy in the middle of the day on a weekday and a have high net worth!

Best of luck to you! Keep up the courage and soldier on!

[Carolyn Pitts]

Originally posted by @Ndy Onyido:

@Carolyn Pitts

Thank you for the honesty and sincerity  and am happy you are now fully supportive and I do commend you for that........

But wow! 11 years and 3 houses clear......awesome achievement...

How did you/he do it? :)

 The first property was brought from an ad in the paper. It was a 2 bedroom house and he converted into 5 bedrooms. We took out an home equity loan to pay for the 1st property.  The second property was brought from a family in our church for $5,000, this was truly a blessing.   The third property was inherited.  We just purchased a fourth,  this property had fire damage so most of the repairs will be done by us. We bidded and paid under 30k. This is very much  a process.  With carefull planning and patience you can get there. 

[Judy Parker]

Good for you, Joey! You made a smart move. And being a CPA will be a huge benefit as you grow your real estate investment business. I got the same grief from my spouse and I just ignore him while continuing to grow my portfolio. Best of luck!

[Bob Gardner]

Hi Joey, I feel your pain.  Stay the course and trust your self. 

 I'll tell you a little about my history , I'm 47 and kind of went through what you are experiencing.  I became a landlord when I was about 22.  I bought a duplex in college, rented one side and lived in the other.  Then I bought another.   Then well I graduated with an engineering degree and my family talked me out of the rental business.  So... I sold them.  Huge mistake.  That took me 10 years to realize...  I spent the next 10 years working in a good but ultimately dead end job.  - While my younger sister got rich in rental realestate - She was the only one in my family who thought rental income sounded great.  So I helped her pick out a duplex 10 years earlier.  She continued to grow her business.   10 years after I got out , my sister had 25 rental units and was making more a month passively than I was at work.  Also, I kept tabs on the guy I sold my duplexes to.  Today, he owns 500+ units.  I knew this guy! I was better at parts of the business than him!  I know I could have done what he did.  Then, 7 years ago I got back in and now own 46 units. I still have my day job but I make MUCH more in rentals. If I lost my day job tomorrow I would still be set for life. Lessons I have learned the hard way:

• Frankly people who are against it wont listen to reason.  So talk about football or something else with them... The will never get it.
• Search out and find people like us who understand and appreciate it and talk to us about it.
• Keep working smartly toward your dream, you will get there