Lender says “no loan for a 5 hour commute”. HELP

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I want to buy a house 2.5 hours from my duty station. I watched my mom travel 3 hours to and from work (6 hours round trip) when ahe worked in NY and she wanted us to go to a good school in NJ so this is normal to me. However, I have spoken to USAA and Freedom Mortgage and their underwriters found the commute to be to unreasonable for the house to be my primary residence. I am ready to wake up 4, get to work at 7, then get back home at 7. The house is a 140K duplex with a tenant and under contract. How do I find an underwriter that will accept that it will be my primary residence? I dont have the assets for a 25% down payment for a conventional loan. I just did the home inspection and termite inspection, $700.