I searched for home appraisers in my area through Thumbtackand the first recommendation was a lender who was not a lisenced appraiser and only charges $5.

Unless I had a VERY detailed confirmation from their lender that they didn't get financing for no fault of their own I will not be releasing any funds held in escrow.Whichever party attorney or title company was holding EMD cannot release without the seller agreeing to return of any portion unless the agreement dictated otherwise.That's the whole premise behind escrow.

I have a unique option to use an FHA , going through a private lender, or partner.  

Hard money lender.

Use a private lender/partner.

It's going to be required anyways by most, if not all lenders.  

seeking commercial lenders in Maine for a multi family purchase

Feel free to PM me if you want more specifics on the lenders I've spoken too.

I think you want to be really clear of what is owed versus what the home is worth before you sign up for that.If its still something you want to pursue - there are almost no assumable mortgages anymore, however if he quit claims the property to you and you keep the payments current, it is not likely the lender will do anything to object to this.

I work in marketing with a private money lender who focuses on lending for rehab projects.