What a joke. 

No joke. 

Joking about the drug/blood testing but that's probably right.

If the phrase 'late fee' scares a potential tenant away, chances are I just lucked out big time by not renting to some idiot who's going to be late month after month.

The phrase "this is a business" and "training your tenant" come up alot in discussions like this.There is a distinction between what that means said to a tenant and what that means when said to a business partner or peer.You want your tenant to understand that phrase to mean they should pay what is due, when it is due or suffer the consequences stipulated in the contract.

If Anne was added as a joint tenant or joint owner without the "right of survivorship" phrase, then the property needs to go through probate before Anne can become the 100% titled owner.  

I'm not a lawyer, just a lowly landlord, but it seems to me that this phrase is the key: "materially affect the physical health or safety of an ordinary tenant."  

Be sure to use the phrase "mildew" when talking with tenants.

When you evict  use a phrase like   "  bill smith and all other occupants of the house "      If the tenant is served and in rehab and doesnt show up you should have a fast eviction.

You could just add a phrase to make it more clear, if you wanted to, something like:"to include cleaning and removing all debris from the premises"