I am searching for a new loan, I must refinance my primary home to get out of a horrible interest rate. 

Well, this did not work out since i was getting a primary residence home loan.

I already have a HELOC on it and I am trying to raise my HELOC balance but the issue that I am running into is that the larger institutional banks are not willing to use the rental incomes from my 3 units toward my income in determining my debt to income ratio because the building is my primary residence. 

I have only purchased my primary residence, and this is a new learning experience for me.My question is - what are some of the real life pros and cons of using a Hard Money Lender over an Equity Partner?

The gain related to a primary residance portion of the duplex is sheltered via section 121 gain exclusion. 

Have the water bill in the name of the primary home tenant and divide the bill based on the number of persons per unit.

When you grow your primary circle of influence geometrically, you grow your secondary circle exponentially.

I don't want to mortgage my primary house.

You can live comfortably in other towns with a much less expanse on primary residence and focus on investing...That is also what we have been asking ourselves for a while.

That should be your primary goal not selling at a loss to a tenant.