Partner with a local winery or spa to cross promote and crate an experience that has you standing out in your market. 

The problem is that I can't get a loan - I'm too good at taxes, and don't have enough income to qualify for conventional products, and don't have enough portfolio, cash/flow, or experience to get hard money.

If they tell you they won't protect you against those things, then consider banning them.It's a sad world where we tell families they can't let their kids experience simple pleasures and get some exercise.

Complete hands-on training and experience. 

Be as detailed and specific as possible when mentioning your future plans, current operation/experience level, ongoing projects, etc.

Hi Jose- I don’t know the MO market but I can offer some advice based on my experience! 

HiMy name is Chen Avnery and I am new to real estate investments in general.I have over 15 years of experience in software engineering, specializing in data and AI. 

I have years of Key Account sales experience and want to get started into real estate on the side.

All landlords experience situations like this (experience through pain/expense). 

I invest in a lot of cities, so I'm not speaking with just a single experience; these agents are pushy, don't care about your best interest, they just don't want to spend too much time and not see a deal get done.