Have a good lawyer write a strong contract, and perform background checks...I have also now hired a management company after 15 years of managing myself and the stress is much less.

Me I tried to negotiate with them . and depending on their attitude would decide what to do.also if I showed up and the house was in perfect shape and not a dump I might even lease back for a year. we all need to understand that the family losing the house is usually highly stressed. 

You should not be stressing over $100-200 if you made a mistake. 

Inexperienced FTHB prioritize rate and ignore everything else, they think lenders are vending machines where you push a button and get a rate.

Now I stressed her out and she doesn’t know what to do.

They may have figured out what his buttons are to stay away from setting him off. 

I've worked to dramatically decrease my debt over the last year with the intention of banking my cash until I found a property I could move on but something stressful has happened. . .I just stumbled upon what I think is a gem, that is off market, and exactly what I was interested in getting started with.

This helps to weed out the tire kickers and only have serious buyer as to reduce the inconvenience of the tenants as well as in this case to not alarm the tenants as change of ownership can be stressful. 

Finding good tenants is extremely important in hopefully having a stress free experience. 

It is a situation fraught with danger of causing rifts in friendships and creating stress in the family ties that bind.