Finding the right type of financing is frustrating, and that's what's driving me to ask this type of question. 

People who do not take the time to learn the ins and outs of any process have unrealistic expectations and that leads to their frustrations, 203k is no different.I have had several clients here in Connecticut that have purchased using a 203k loan, and from those experiences I highly recommend working with a realtor, lender, contractor, and lawyer/title company that have experience closing 203k deals.  

we're dealing with the same thing--- so frustrating!!! 

I was frustrated as the coach, she was feeling burnt out and frustrated as the student.

I understand your frustration but to blame the agent because you didn't properly qualify this person to rent your house (or contract someone to do so on your behalf), is unfair and getting the commission refunded will probably be unlikely. 

For me, its a hard conversation,because I rent out my other room and love hosting,but I get really frustrated when I see whole homes as vacation rentals when 1.2 million  people live here and actually need a HOME. 

Would you then say in frustration: "if only I had bid $2k higher, WE would have won it"?

I have been through this dance a few times and time and time again I am being frustrated by incompetence, failure to close on time, errors in closing disclosures and a few other things.

I hear your frustration and doubt.

(entire budget was 19K). the contract specifically says that any additional work / expenses need to be added in a separate contract and that would need to be signed.He said he made an "aesthetic" decision and that cost more (without consulting me) and that the bill he got from the electrician was higher than expected (although i can't see why - both the electrician and the contractor came multiple times to make assessments before starting the work, and I have already upgraded the electric board prior to this work) again, without letting me know or asking my approval.the point where i felt something was not right (besides the bad communication - very frustrating when you have tenants) is when i got a text from him last week saying that the work was done. upon inspection i found that he didn't do part of the job (insulation of a big part of the work) . when i sent him a list of corrections (including the insulation) he called me and said of course he still needs to do that. which left the impression that he was hoping i wouldn't notice. on top of it all, he is very reluctant to make any corrections to some of the work that was done poorly.He is now calling me every day.