Well, I suppose there are aspects your can estimate from afar and others I wouldn't without viewing (or having somebody view) the property.Specifically for the rehab, if this is an out-of-state investment, having somebody you know and trust in the area would certainly be beneficial. 

Can't have an investor go in blindly and unassured if this is supposed to be a TURNKEY!

@Scott Lyons  SDIRAs for Real Estate is supposed to be used for passive income which this model fits. 

I suppose my interest is in a cross-collateralized loan using my current paid off property to buy a new property that I would live in as primary residence.

You were always required to provide something and simply got away with not doing it for awhile, now the party is over and it's time to put things back the way they were, or are supposed to be today. 

I used the VA loan so we are supposed to owner occupy, plus we are living in our fifth wheel at the moment and can't imagine spending another summer in it!

Now that she's piling on the extras and seemingly taking advantage - we are considering not compensating for any of it since we did everything that we were supposed to do and are well within our rights to maintain the property.

Or is this how it’s supposed to be ?

Are we supposed to document every minor scratch on the floor and nail home in the wall? 

By doing the land trust with LLC as beneficiary, am I still getting that extra layer of liability protection that an LLC supposedly provides?