He does not seem to want to do the work on the refi until we have a 2023 tax return filed, though he told me he could do it without the 2023 returns filed it would just be more work on his end and mine.

In my county of residence in Ohio, property taxes, including back owed all always paid first, and then first mortgages/liens/judgement.

Did you end up creating an LLC for the ADU you built?

We bought our property back in January.

My wife quit her corporate job a decade ago and got bored, so went back to work part time for a hard money lender. 

Often times, sellers are already offering commissions to the buyer side - buy offering without an agent that doesn't go to you it will go back to the seller or listing agent.

Instead, we had someone clean and do light landscaping before putting it back on the market.

I have a special needs son that will always be with me and I really want my time back to be there for him. 

First take two steps back. 

Often a grey area or banned for full time occupancy, though.OP- Please feel free to come back ad post an update on what you've found.