Bonus points for funny stories!

I have a few buy and holds that cash flow nicely, but I'm looking to branch out and grow faster rather than sit and wait for 20-25% down payment every time.My question is this, if you were due for a raise at your day job, would it be wise (i know in almost all other cases the answer would be no) to ask for a larger one time bonus, instead of the raise. 

I also hold a real estate license and want to benefit from cost segregation and bonused depreciated to offset my W-2 income.

Rent it out as an STR when we are not using it to cover the mortgage and bonus cashflow although our main objective is to have it pay itself.

I just got an offer from AMEX for a business card that gets 2% cash back and $500 bonus in first year for certain spend levels.

We sold and had the bonus of currency exchange behind our transaction, and made a nice profit. 

Bonus Tip: Dont discriminate against the animals.

My philosophy is no one gets a paycheck their first day on a new job (other than a sign-on bonus).ABSOLUTELY NO ONE !!!

In house, they can push a property out to hundreds of agents with at-a-boys, benefits, bonuses, all kinds of games can be played in house.  

Remember time is money and they need to see the need to hurry, heck if they take your offer you could "sweeten" it when negotiating start and end times by offering a "bonus" for early completion.