The first thing here is that most likely your math is wrong and you're going to need a lot higher return than 8% to hit that goal because of federal, state and local taxes.

That could be the best approach and settling on an appropriate tone given the audience... great!

I do .pdfs on paperwork, but I'm really going to need a nice keychain, maybe a T-shirt, before I can seriously consider this.I would appreciate it, given the circumstances, if we didn't discuss precisely where my retirement was going to happen.

Tiling the entire house with something timeless like a mid tone wood porcelain or in your area maybe saltillo could be a lifetime floor.

For that type of study, Excel is a clear winner, as it is designed to handle that type of dataset exceptionally well and professionals like myself have years of practice and memorized shortcuts doing analysis quickly in Excel.Anything that a real estate investor is likely to use it for, however, is unlikely to need the raw power of Excel and any spreadsheet program will probably serve adequately.These spreadsheets are all the same at the end of the day for any typical analysis.

You are going to need to pull equity out to start building a portfolio.

If baby boomers are going to be driven to work while retired because of their fiscal situation, they are going to need a low cost of living and a city that supports that lifestyle.Oklahoma City has an average home sale price of ~$178,000, gas is cheap, utilities are cheap.  

If you go with the 2nd, you should get commitments from more investors than you need, not all will honor their commitments.Your going to need the hire an attorney anyways to set all this up correctly for you the first few times.

If you would like to add a constructive recommendation on how I can get a loan, thats fine , otherwise your keep your condescending tone to yourself. 

We are hoping Subto helps with the gain in momentum as we’re going to need all we can get to hit 50+ in our first year.Deal Structure (Pictures of Property at Bottom)Property: 2 Acres of cleared Land.