We ended up getting a private money loan (rehab + acquisition) and I allowed him to have access to the draws in order to keep the project going.

I like the search features: https://www.biggerpockets.com/searchThere are a few self-contained guides that you can access here: https://www.biggerpockets.com/guides

I am active duty military, which gives me access to VA loans, etc, which I’ve heard can be helpful.

Would love to access some off-market deal flow, but all my acquisitions thus far have been via brokers.

A lot of forum members are very knowledgeable in their respective fields related to real estate investing, whether that is real estate sales, wholesaling, flipping, rentals, lending, self-directed IRA and Solo 401k investing, or tax and legal guidance.If you haven’t been to it already, you might want to check out the BP blog: https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/Alerts can be really helpful too: http://www.biggerpockets.com/alertsThere are a few self-contained guides that you can access here: https://www.biggerpockets.com/guides

I didn't like not having direct access to the sponsor. 

Also, as @Mike Dymski was saying, appreciation does matter to a Buy-And-Hold investor as they can access that increased property value through a cash-out refinance or HELOC. 

If you earn $50-$100k with the ability to select the neighborhood you live in, you probably are looking for a safe, well maintained, nice looking, updated, affordable home, in a neighborhood of similar properties, in a good school district, with easy access to shopping and parks and your work.   

Not to expand on the "family dynamics" but I would personally be concerned about having to deal with family requesting access to the property for periods of time as well.

you can use retirement funds as reserves as long as you have the ability to borrow or withdraw against it. you'll have to provide the account guidelines from the holding company to show what access you have. for example my USAA IRA allows me to borrow like 50% max (think) so they will allow 50% to go towards my reserves.