I'll shave it before it gets too embarrassing ;) 

It should be closed cell spray foamed, clips and drywall with a gap around the edge.

I would use a 10mm Pergo laminate with foam backing and then place area rugs to satisfy the HOA. 

You can't put a round peg in a square hole...unless you shave off the roundness...which in the case of REI means you're shaving off your profits/cash flow.You need to find a round hole (different market) , or a square peg (different strategy).

Pop the hatch to the attic in the morning and if the North slope looks like shaved ice coating it, you know you have a problem

1031’s have helped me move from 4 unit properties with 300k equity into 1.2M properties with double the net cash flow.  

Just FYI rather than removing asbestos siding you may be able to just cover it with foam insulation and vinyl siding depending on local building codes.

I remember a realtor back when I was in my mid to late 20's, having just bought my first home in cash a couple years prior, telling me that I was making a mistake buying another house in cash...I thought he was wrong back then, because of the risk.

You can't fit a round peg into a square hole unless you shave the peg. 

Downstairs I was going to look for some foam acoustic panels to place on the bedroom ceilings.