This whole mentality of "what was she wearing when she was raped", or "why is she showing homes alone" is ridiculous.

Some of the prices seem ridiculous (e.g. $100 to program two garage doors?

But you can't be trying the rape the end buyer either with a ridiculously high assignment fee.

I'm constantly having to replace windows and kicked in doors, it's ridiculous.

But with our 8.5% year over year appreciation in our immediate market, (and probably greater for the upcoming 12-mos based on the ridiculously high over-asking offers we're seeing) you'll be able to refinance conventional or portfolio within 12-24 months at an 85-80% LTV, eliminate the PMI forever, and be in good shape (assuming you still live in the 1 unit when you refinance).If there are any reasons the property wouldn't qualify FHA, it's like additional assets will be required.

  $180 for a light bulb is ridiculous, $400 for a new faucet might be about right (I'm in Canada, but I had to pay $150 in my own home for a plumber to install a faucet that I bought (when I looked at faucets they were all around $150-200). 

Sometimes, they also require periodic re-verification of your ability to pay, which is when they may be most likely to be called or frozen.If interest rates get as high as they did in the early 80’s (which seems a less ridiculous possibility now than it did 6 months ago), you can expect to nearly double the monthly payment above.  

I wouldn't put anything in your ad to screen people out, unless it's a letter or postcard, in which case you have more space and can slip in a sentence saying something like, "I'm not going to give you some ridiculous lowball offer like the We Buy Houses guys will.

The bureaucracy was ridiculous.

Also,  insurance can be ridiculous as you'll need flood and windstorm coverage not just homeowners.