Also funding it I was looking at options of 401k that I have sitting there that I can transfer or cash out because I just switched Jobs 6 months ago, look into refinance our home that I have been in for 3 years, or bank.

Almost all big banking institutions offer self directed IRAs but most of them have restrictions when it comes to investing in real estate.

Depends on the bank but yes you can.

The last thing you want to do is get under contract with a bank owned house, then waste two weeks trying to find a contractor and then end up with a bad one that's hard to work with. 

Ask them to write their story out, make up your own, maybe set up a website, maybe get some old porcelain dolls in there, and Airbnb that place as a genuine haunted house all the way to the bank, baby.

I use C&F Mortgage. if they aren't in your area try going to local smaller banks.

Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF): if I use a personal friend to loan me money to buy my first property, can I still use the “cash out” REFI technique with a bank in my BRRRR strategy?

Found a single family residence for 105 list price, arv 230 with 40k reno, i figured i would go in 90k max offer but submitted a 70k offer, the bank rejected it lol.

A number of the online banks are offering interest at around 1.65% to 1.7% which is pretty good, and federally insured.If you are willing to hold onto something for a few years, I would consider Treasury bonds. 

I understand that many people in the BP community will either source loans from non-bank lenders or partner with someone who can fund the deal for interest (or even equity ownership in the property).