I can't imagine a government lending agency remodeling properties.

I'd suggest not noting things like "stabbed coach with a knife" and instead "7" long cut in left cushion of couch" and "4 sq ft area of carpet under den window coated in an unknown substance that stained the carpet". 

Jeff might know better, but on the surface I'd say no. 

Agreed with @Kory Reynolds’s points, great stuff here.Joseph - I’d advise your CPA take a look at IRC 301(b) and its corresponding regs.

I'd be open to a month to month lease, but I'd still have them go through same screening, same deposit process, and same rules as other tenants.

I've noticed slightly better prospects in the $1.4 M - $1.6 M range, but I'd need to co-sign with my father to qualify.

Ideally, I'd like to break even or be profitable.

I'd be happy to provide more insight - feel free to reach out!

It would be great to have a timer to actually track reviewer's loan progress from start to close.For me personally, I'd like to choose the lender who works the most transparently, efficiently, and overall professionally.What are your thoughts?

Since your experience level (1st investment) is very limited, I'd speak with some title companies to get a feel for comfort level in working with them.You'll be asking a bunch of questions (you should!)