Any thoughts, exit strategies, mentorship, anything would be dearly dearly appreciated.

You can probably report it to your state's attorney general or the Department of Consumer Protection (DCP) for your state

If you find some land already developed, that may help with the costs of adding utilities and hassles with city planning departments.  

My husband and I have experience building and have found a sweet spot of building duplexes with great financing in a town where we know the building department and have a good breadth of subs.

Literally, if there was a fire the fire department would not be able to get their equipment or people in the backyeard without issue.

I may indeed chose to borrow money for some specific reason (to purchase a new property, for instance), but using that equity is anything but "free"  -- it costs me dearly. 

@Jason Wray is an excellent contact for getting you set in the loan department.

Regulation compliance may be a mess so it's possible you'll be starting over again with the local planning department.

They are all separate parcels, from the county view it is not a park but from the health Department view it is a park because all the lots are connected.

I found a couple that will do a lower LTV cash-out at a bit higher rate through their commercial lending departments.