If you frequently do owner/agent deals do you run into issues with the counter party where they want a better deal because they know you are saving money on commission or due a commission (buy side)? 

Looking for a structure that is fair for both parties.

You'll be surprised the type of creative structuring in deals you can come up with that end up being beneficial for all parties involved.

His wife was also named as a party on the lawsuit, so I told him that if he didn't pay by a new deadline, I was going to have his wife arrested at work and brought to court.

If they merely provided you with an IDX feed, you can get that on any 3rd party site such as Zillow. 

I let a buyer in with her realtor and she had her kid's birthday party at my house. 

The part I am struggling on is finding a lender that can do a cashout refi after the rehab...Apparently it's a federal restriction that you have to wait until after 6 months of purchasing.

As bad as everything above is, the worst part is that existing investments are not grandfathered in.   

Does anyone use a good third party cold calling service?

This is not legal advice, just friendly information.For any trust there are three parties: the grantor, the trustee, and the beneficiary.