My lender told me I could not use it unless I have 25 percent equity in my current home or my place of employment is closer to the new home.. is this true and has the rules changed?

If they're doing any additional work such as rebuilding a chimney it might be more.

I am trying to discover the real way to earn my family some additional income in real estate, either through flipping, or developing rental properties. 

No Income/Tax/Employment documentation whatsoever.

It is a triplex, I ran the numbers through the BP calculator and they appear to work, however asking for additional advice never hurts. 

Additionally, we are focusing on single family homes in Bergen County, NJ 

This is a specific implementation of a 401k style employer retirement plan in an owner-only business, and is therefore much simpler to administer than a larger 401k that provides benefits to non-owner employees of a business.A self-directed Solo 401k is such a plan that can be invested in anything the IRS rules allow, as opposed to just what an institution offering the 401k is willing to sell.  

4, Have you ever worked with turnkey providers who also throw in additional incentive by helping you acquire a rehab and they would manage the rehab and subsequently rental.

., but I'm having a hard time finding a sales position considering I don't have a degree, which a lot of employers require.

This project is essentially a complete gut that will include addition of roughly 700 SQF, new roof, siding, landscaping, privacy fence, hardwood flooring installation, interior re-design into an open concept floor plan, upgraded kitchen with granite counters, new cabinets, stainless steel appliances, etc.