I'm currently only room-hacking a SFH in Riverside, so my tenants are also people I've developed a strong friendship with, but in my case COVID has not disrupted anything in the least. 

A good PM has spent years honing their processes, and don't want to spend time on owners who will disrupt those processes due to unrealistic expectations or a lack of understanding of their business.

We are going to be upgrading [insert here: ceiling fans, landscaping, etc] in the next two years; we haven't decided which we will be doing first so I thought I might ask which you would find more useful [or more aesthetic, or least disruptive, etc] during your tenancy."

It was a fiasco to say the least.The vacation rental industry, which is an old dog, and the AirBNB-insta-vacation industry, which is DISRUPTING vacation rentals, are at odds.

Will it likely cause too much disruption to the other Apts in the building?

I parked myself there and just waited on him I should have shopped around but then again didn’t want disrupt anything.

I would have tenants living and don't want to make disruptions for them so wanted to take any proactive steps today (may be pre-approval for commercial now?)

COVID-19 is temporarily disrupting college education, but that will soon pass.

As much of the country begins the process of reopening, builders' ability to start new projects remains hampered through a combination of supply-chain disruptions and "social distancing" measures for workers.

If they agree to the increase in rent without upgrades, I'd be tempted to do what is cost effective and the least disruptive.