Should I be getting the reference and income verification for the male relative?

If you are, and you have the caps to to implement practices that a course/mentor/mastermind would offer, you will get value from it.

What are my options and who do I talk to to get equity pulled?

Which is hard to to when the jambs are already attached.

If they are VERY professional, they will have their processes in writing as verification that policies are enforced equally and fairly by their entire staff.6.

what other details I should considering in looking at it if the seller price is ok and also need some advise on how should i verify the sales and expense report they give for due diligence verification , hoping these details would be correct and not bumped up prices .

Conventional investment property loans usually garner better rates but require tax returns, income/employment verification and DTI calculations.

Take time to to learn from others bad mistakes.

To answer your question about closing costs - generally speaking there are several fees associated with purchasing a home: loan origination fees (which could include processing/underwriting fees), credit report & verification of employment fees, an appraisal, and title fees.

Where would you guys go or who would you recommend talking to to learn more?