Most banks and HMLs will not lend without there being a property that can be used as collateral before the money is handed over.

I went in with the question can I consolidate all of my accounts and use that as collateral towards the purchase of a property. 

Of course, but good luck explaining you do not have any collateral. 

what happens if the buyer destroys or contaminates the property or uses it as collateral or doesn't pay the insurance etcCan I ask for other collateral?

Or keep the 1st property and use as collateral for a 2nd bigger property if I can find a bank who will work with me. 

I don't want to seller finance the house to them if there is a risk that the HOA will take the house and thus the collateral out from under me if they become a problem.

Its not like hard collateral which is how I am wondering how it is factored into the demand for the investment on comparison to real estate.

That $30k 401k hit will be hard to overcome, I'd definitely look for ways to use that as your collateral on another loan instead. 

Plenty of the terms are (somewhat) negotiable depending on the borrower, LTV, debt service coverage, collateral, etc. 

But I have close to nothing to offer as collateral, and no liquidity for a down payment.I would search for an answer to this question if I could think of the right way to phrase it in a search string, it's probably a stupid question, but here goes:Would it be possible to offer something MORE secure, thus making lending to me less risky, than merely allowing them to become the 1st position lien holder?