Grow a little bit of facial hair, put on a nice suit, leverage a team of older experienced people and stop cutting yourself short.

Man I would be careful going after a project with so much hair on it for your first property  but I think it is very cool that you are reaching out for help. 

And if it's a girl, should she have blond hair or red?

You'll learn all the nuts and bolts without pulling out your hair. 

She was so uncomfortable with our first mortgage to the point I had to rent it out and buy another cash to get her hair to grow back.

It's sometimes cheaper and the tenant will be out of your hair quicker as eviction usually takes longer is more expensive.

According to Zillow and my own research in my area prices are stabilizing even decreasing a hair.  

The vacant half is configured as a large high-end hair salon, the other half is occupied by me.

When I wanted a sounding board / affirmation about my real estate purchase decision in relation to my non-real-estate investments and other financial goals (ie my IRAs, other stock holdings, startup equity options, etc.), it was outside of his scope.

Sellers have to asses odds when choosing a buyer (do they have a good broker and support system, do they have the funds ready to go, is their proposed loan terms reasonable for the market are they trying a hair brained loan that has a little chance of happening?)