There is no magic lease that will make tenants actually perform what you write in it.  

I say this because I have had tenants where I approved for 1 small dog, but that one small dog magically turned to 3 dogs and 5 cats ... when I called the tenant on it, they said that I allowed pets so it was not a problem.

Tips on finding a magical place that you can afford and make you money?  

Usually hard headed tenants like this (in my limited experience) somehow feel they are magically destined to stay in the place with rules that only apply to them that they dreamed up in their heads...so trying to negotiate or level with them, doesn't work.

This cult of the bidding war nonsense, the idea that your home will magically sell for way more money if you list it low. 

That's the magic number I was looking for all this time George!

Bureaucrats think that if they write things on paper and give it their blessing then it will magically fix real-world problems, but vaguely enforceable laws like this won't cure bad landlords. 

I understand - there's many layers of the situation, and I'm not looking at booting this guy as the magic bullet that fixes all our problems.But the real estate part of this is: If husband/wife are jointly listed on a mortgage, but disagree on whether a tenant should stay ... can one party press the eviction process without the other's consent?

I think the magic number is something like 40-50 properties last time I checked where it begins to make economic sense.

We prepare a move-in gift package that includes cleaning supplies (degreaser, carpet spot cleaner, vinegar, baking soda, magic eraser, disinfectant wipes), cutting board, plunger, hand soap, dish soap, paper towels, and toilet paper, presented in a cleaning bucket and reusable shopping bag. ($30)  At move-in we also loan the tenant the use of drop cloth runners (to protect the flooring on move-in day), furniture moving blankets, furniture sliders, furniture lifting straps, a step stool, and a picture hanging tool kit (with small hammer and picture hooks).