Rents started to come down and I had to leave a lot more money in projects that I was in the middle of.  

But even to this day the money is always the winner not me.. thats how you raise significant capital ..

If I don't want the stress of RE I'm just going to buy index funds/stocks/bonds - much easier to liquidate than getting back my money in a syndication that's not doing well.  

To answer your question directly OP, to sell a deal and make money. 

(cost of buy-down in dollars / monthly savings vs the free loan = # of months it would take to recoup the money spent). will you keep the LOAN at least that long?

And you spend all that money on updating it will be for not.

Here’s some guidance to help with your next steps:Hard Money Loan: Hard money lenders can often cover both the purchase price and some rehab costs (up to 70-75% of the after-repair value or ARV).

First of all, do not take any money out of the business, because you will need it.

Combination of own capital, hard/private money lenders, partnerships and raising outside capital.How do you add value to these deals?

Value your money more.